changes.

serious changes have to be made in my life.

i am sixteen now, its time to grow up and get real about life.
goodbye, grace of yester-years...i'll miss you.

I WILL STUDY.
there cannot be any more procrastination. yes, i lack the motivation and the push, and now everyone is pushing me (yes Mrs Lim, Mr Chye, Ms Mok, Mr Kam, Mum, Kenneth & Rick) and i dont want a repeat of yesterday ever again. so how do i get self-motivation? there really isnt anth to motivate me. i shall reciew this.

I WILL HAND IN MY OVERDUE HMWK.
i really will. pls dont give up on me.

I WILL GO FOR TUITION AND PAY ATTENTION.
sorry Rick & Kenneth! i promise i'll focus even with Dawn beside me!

I WILL GO BACK TO JITTERBUGS.
i miss dance so much! olivia keeps asking me to go back, AND I REALLY REALLY WANT TO.

I WILL BE MORE DISCIPLINED.
this is gonna be hard.

I WILL GO FOR ALL TRAINING.
starting next week tuesday, cos i hv medical appt on monday.

I WILL RID MYSELF OF UNNECESSARY DISTRACTIONS.
damn. goodbye taiwanese drama serials...no AXSY til hols :(
also, goodbye new hp w addictive hp games! :(
goodbye.

I WILL STOP HAVING SUICIDAL THOUGHTS.
yeah. im not gonna die.

i will stop being weird.
well, i dont think im being weird, but i heard that some ppl say i am. im sorry, but did you even really know me? i dont really know you.

i will be nicer.
i keep losing my temper nowadays for minor reasons.

i will banish negative thoughts about my body...or at least i will try.
support the seventeen body peace project!

i will maintain the present relationship with Daddy.
it has been too long(:

i will be a more honest with myself and be more honest to the world.
the first step to solving a problem is admitting you have one.

i will stop living in the past and concentrate instead on the here & now.
forget yesterday. dont think about tmr. just live for today. life is too short to spend pining for things you dont or cant have, and if i stop longing for graduation to come quickly, it will descend upon me much faster. cherish every day that you live, for you can only do so once! yesterday wont come again, and you can never do it over, so just treasure every moment. yeah.

i will not be a letdown.
no more regrets, i dont want to hate myself and i dont want to look back on this part of my life and think it was a complete & utter waste of time & resources. i am not a waste of space.

alright! i think that's enough 'i will's for today.
lol.
okay,i think i sound inspiring & all, but also deeply depressing. omg. im just trying to sound...i dunno, philosophical? hah.
going to do class tee with meifeng tmr. yay. and my door is doing weird things. i am scared. omg. recently i hv been having scary feelings. ok maybe i am just paranoid. yeah.
today i realised fadhil is very blunt! he just says whatever he wants to do & doesnt bother with being tactful. like, he just goes, do you cut yourself on purpose with a penknife? can you believe i used to like dawn? does anyone like you?
lol.
ohwell its better than like, being a hypocrite.

hmm.
life has been weird lately. feel like smth's missing, somehow. cant ever rmb significant things i did. its like im just drifting. i must wake up and focus on school work!!!
bought Ang5.0 last week. so high pitched! cannot sing the songs. Angela Zhang Shao Han is a gd singer, but omg voice so high. am envious of her range.
also bought AXSY drama ((:

today in EL class we had many inspiring oracy presentations! am SO jealous, if only i hadnt been so suay... feel like such an idiot after listening to them, me and my stupid impromptu presentation last week -.-

damn, i hv to go, hmwk awaits. hv to revise for tmr's math test. am in love with Emaths trigo. at least i will be til i fail. am hoping for the best thou, failure is unacceptable!!!

Go Grace, Go!