Term Four

edited. decided not to blog abt TTF in detail afterall. lol.

hello im finally back, and i cant believe its been last than a month since i last blogged. so much seems to hv happened since.

my trip to the hospital wasnt that freaky after all,and im getting the results this friday. i want to go to the polyclinic for another referral,although for smth else.

Grandma passed away the day after i last blogged. my entire family seems to hv reached an unspoken agreement and understanding that this is the time for a new beginning. its really great. for the past few years it'd been so rare to see the entire extended family together. i'd really, really missed the gatherings.

horror and hope.
i really believe that. i used it in the lit paper today, but im quite sure im gonna fail. time is so cruel.

what H said suddenly occured to me today just b4 the start of the paper, and i kept smiling to mysef. sexy. haha. we dont talk anymore though, so it was odd. but i love the way he put it.

honestly, so many things have happened since 16 august that i really dont know how to blog them all.

im happy. generally.
things are changing, and im fully embracing change :)

i mean, why wldnt i be happy? my family is coming tgt again (YAY I LOVE THIS), i've been there for several really good friends incl. 2 of my best girlfriends, Besties met up and lovey songs are starting to mean something to me again.

Really,im happy. but at the same time im really bummed abt TTF.

TTF.

please just let me be happy for a while. who knows when the next blissed out feels will be yeah? besides i know when to stop, and how. i totally hv a plan. yep. and how much do i know bout him anw, i hv seen him like what, 5times? lol.
I JUST WANNA FEEL BUBBLY-HAPPY FOR A BIT.

do you know how it sucks when music becomes simply noise to you? im a radio junkie, i cant do noise! lol.

i love QH and Bets for knowing me so well.

so now its term 4 n the big Os are drawing ever so close. jeez. talk abt scary. i'd pick needles anyday. m totally scared. sigh.

i wanna make Daddy proud. he actually believes in me. i mean, do you know how many people actually really do? and i dont wanna feel guilty. i know im not giving my best, even now. those who believe in me, i dont want them to be disappointed. this feeling sucks.

oh and, not only do i stink at chinese now, but i am not even speaking proper english anymore. i stutter and mispronounce words! and i cant get my pt across! oh man, whats wrong with me? and i hv a memoy problem. i cant rmb my freaking IC number, which is really easy to rmb n i hv rmbed since forever.

i really dont want to lose my sense of humour.
i know this isnt a v upbeat & happy post but i didnt think it was appropriate. i dunno. somehow.

I LOVE TUITION. I LOVE MATH. I LOVE TO STUDY.

I LOVE CAKE.