its the long weekend! almost the end of it alr. sigh.
i was so psyched up abt 080808 but the day started off on the wrong note when i woke up at 7.02am. late for school. damn. so instead of my original plan to enjoy the NDP celebrations at sch, i went to my NNI appt instead.
in case you were wondering, NNI stands for National Neuroscience Institute. so Mum and i went there tgt since she's on MC and reached TTSH, where NNI's at, at 9.20am. heh heh my appt was 9.10am. oops? lol.
the doctor was...really...short. i dont mean the literal short, but the snappy short, y'know? he wasnt the most patient dude but ohwell. i suppose me not knowing how to describe my symptoms didnt make it any better, but hey, he's the professional yeah? he did this series of simple tests w me. the knee-jerk reaction, the headbanger (he shook my head from side to side for like 3min) and the circus tryouts (i had to walk like i was on a tightrope). felt rather silly, actually.
i dont actually know what's wrong w me yet, and neither does he, which is why i hv to do an, get this, an MRI next week. and a blood test. omg. omg!!
it just occurred to me tht means they will take blood frm me with like a needle and a syringe. oh my gosh.
i feel faint thinking bout it. not that im afraid of blood or anth, but still, the sight of your own blood gushing into a plastic tube is pretty freaky. im assuming, of course, because i've nvr done a blood test before. and then next mth i hv to go back so the doc can tell me wht's wrong w me, cos tht's when the test results come back.
aw.
the MRI is really expensive, i feel so bad that imma cost my folks again. damnit, this is why i didnt wanna go to the stupid appt tht day. i hate this.
oh.
im sorry, i just realised i havent mentioned just why i had a appt w the neurologist. as the word suggests, there's smth wonky bout my brain and i really am crazy. LOL. nah, i've just been having constant dizzy spells tht havent gone away since my bout w the flu a few weeks ago. the "attacks", as the doc called them, hv happened occasionally in the past, but nvr this persistantly. i wonder if like, my blood sugar's low or smth. anw, i heard the doc say tht sometimes the blood vessels in the brain/head touch each other or smth, which may occur in giddiness, but apparently its really rare.
so my head may be wonky after all. hmm.
sigh.
i dont relish telling Daddy abt the price of the MRI at all. its $22o, and i havent included consultation fees. i hv a worrying feeling they may add up to a total of over $300. great pumpkin bumpkins. *makes face*
anyhoo, after NNI i went to sch but they'd alr dismissed and it became a sad day as everyone wanted to not go out :(
in my depression i bought a video to go home and watch. 'a lot like love' is supposed to be a cheering romantic comedy, my fave type of movies, so i assumed it wld make me feel better but no sirree,nuh uh.
its just, how cheering can it be to think that it may take you 7years to get love right when the other person's been there all along? honestly, its rather depressing. i mean, its alright if you're the 'in the long run it'll be better, i hv time, gd things come to those who wait, i am POSITIVE' kinda dude, but what if you're not?
what if you dont hv time?
what if you're in that point in your life where everything seems to be falling through and you havent got anth to you know, want to live for? like a midlife crisis or smth. the still single middle aged dude, obviously. but come on, seriously, in everyone's lives there'll be a point where you've hit rock bottom (or at least it seems like you hv) and althou they all say then there's nowhere to go but up, the time at the bottom can last seemingly for an eternity, and the time there really, really sucks.
what if you feel so hopeless and desolate that you cant wait, dont want to wait?
what then?
everyone shd just be born knowing who and where their cosmic half is and how to find them so no time will be wasted and everyone will know that there really is someone out there for them and that EVERYONE is loved. the world would be a happier place! life wldnt ever be hopeless or pointless! love is the answer!
LOL i sound so bohemian. love, peace, hope, faith and all that. hahah.
but honestly, cosmic universe and all, i dont wanna wait two lifetimes to like fulfil my destiny or whatever. i kinda dont like waiting. a lot.
pleeease?
im so sleepy. the pills the doctor gave me make me real drowsy. i guess i'll be sleepy for the next 6weeks.
Olympics 2008! i got the swimming cup frm Mac on sat, how cosmic is that? lol using that word too much. anw, Michael Phelps is dominating the pool and i wish Ian Thorpe was competing :(
4yrs ago i was too little to fully appreciate the 400m freestyle final, but who expected his career to be cut short? :((
damn, Ms Mok is right, like hello, distracting much?
gotta stop watching.
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