TELL ME WHY

hey guys, just wasted two hours of my life doing things too embarrasing for me to even say,and it was completely fruitless, so forget it.

i still cant believe i did it. ew.

okay, moving on.

Carol'd said that today wld be heavy lesson but it was alright, quite interesting except the videos part, waaaa so wordy, cannot understand half the terms used.

still in love with 2x2 rib knits and above.went to my kitchen this morning and checked out my laundry. in my laundry alone i hv FOUR 2x2 rib knit tanks! wow, i nvr knew! wonder how many others i hv in my closet.

OMG I WAS EFFING PISSED OFF TODAY.

i had like a nice day so far, and then right, this server at Subway like, cannot understand english. i told her the veggies i wanted right, and she didnt put half of them on, then when i said i wanted pepper, like BLACK PEPPER, she gave me green pepper, the vegetable. wtf?!but i was like, ARGH nvm i can take it off myself later right, so i calmed down, got my stuff and left.

i didnt get a carrier for my drink cos i wanted to save the earth by using less plastic bags, so i held my drink in my hand.

walking to the interchange, this old guy (looked like 40s and above) BARRELLED INTO ME ON PURPOSE AND KNOCKED THE DRINK OUT OF MY HAND AND IT CRASHED TO THE FLOOR AND THE COVER BROKE UPON IMPACT, SPILLING BARLEY EVERYWHERE.and he carried right on walking w/o an apology or look back.

i picked up the remnants of my drink and turned around and stalked after him, i was so pissed off.when i caught up to him, i tapped him on his shoulder and when he spun round, i tossed the rest of the barley into his ugly face, and promptly went back to Subway and got myself another drink.

not.i was effing pissed off, it's true, but i didnt do that, im not so extreme. okay, i was THIS close to doing it. i really picked up the drink (there was still like a quarter cup) and stalked after him, and when i saw his retreating back i REALLY considered throwing the drink into his disgustingly rude face but then i decided not to sink to his level and do smth so rude and incredibly dramatic.

how did i know he did it on purpose?

he passed by me on my right, where there was ABSOLUTELY NO-FUCKING-BODY, and it wasnt like he didnt see me coming, there was nobody between us and he saw me at least three metres before he passed me, and when he was gonna pass me i was like, hmm the dude's kinda near me, shd i move?
then i realised i was blocked on the left by other ppl and anyways there was nobody beside old guy so he could and would (OR SO I THOUGHT, MISTAKENLY) move.but he didnt.and he just SPED HEAD ON INTO ME AND SHOVED MY ENTIRE RIGHT ARM SO THAT I DROPPED MY DRINK.
WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I HATE SINGAPOREANS THEY ARE SO FUCKING RUDE AND INCONSIDERATE AND OMGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I honestly hope to God that HE, THE UGLY DISGUSTING RUDE OLD GUY, is the very minor minority in s'pore.

when i turned round after picking up my drink, a guy in a suit was behind me and he was like, whoa. he'd seen the old guy barrel into me and my drink drop and everything. he was like in shock, cos he'd stopped behind me.
i was so pissed off that i didnt even glance at him, i was in a trance brought on by fury. there was one thought in my mind:get back to subway and refill your cup.

it's so crazy. like after this disgusting show of behaviour by the old guy all i could think abt was how i cant stand the thought of me just paying $7.50 for my meal and looking forward to enjoying it at home but having a stranger spoil that all for me by robbing me of my drink which wld complete my meal, and thus i did the only thing my mind could think of, the refill.
which is btw, not free. but i was so angry, i was willing to pay. but i didnt hv to pay because erm, no one stopped me. cause i'd only just walked out less than 5min when i lost my drink so when i went back everyone didnt like, stare or anth.
i refilled (illegally) and went home. sorry subway dudes, if you see this.

i had to call kanika to rant bout it first, i was so indignant that some guy could just do smth so utterly REVOLTING and not feel any remorse!!!

UGH. ugh ugh! gross.

speaking of gross, on 55 some guy with heavily gelled and dandruff-filled hair stood right in front of me AND KEPT LEANING BACK SO THAT I HAD TO HOLD MY PHONE IN FRONT OF MY BODY SO IT WOULD POKE HIS BACK JUST TO AVOID SEXUAL HARRASSMENT.
I SWEAR HE WAS SO NEAR HIS HEAD WAS LESS THAN 10CM AWAY.
cos he's not v tall, so his head is effing near my face! all all dandruff, DISGUSTING!!!!
and you know what, he was leaning so far back that he was pressing right into the ring on my index finger on the hand i was using to hold my phone. i saw and felt the entire ring press into his back, THREE TIMES, and STILL he didnt move away.effing disgusting right.

so traumatised.

thankfully he got off soon after, otherwise i swear i would have like poked smth sharper into his back. i hv scissors in my pencil case.

KAY ENOUGH BOUT AWFUL PPL.

i cant believe 2009 is speeding by. i've lost track of time. it's alr september. soon it'll be 2010.time. an illusion of life gone by. i feel like i havent done much in the months i've been in school. i kinda feel...like smth is seriously missing, and sweet jellybeans, i dont know what the hell it is. and it drives me crazy.

i kinda feel like im waiting for smth? to happen. and i dont know WHAT! it's INFURIATING. it's worse than waiting for my period to come or be over. at least for sure that's smth tht's gonna happen, this is like, entirely based on a big fat nothing.

wanna hide away from the world and crawl into my comfort zone, like the period between feb and april 09.
but why! nothing's wrong! so why do i feel like nothing's right???


WHAT'S THE THING THAT'S MISSING????????????