MEWSIC

i love track ID, so convenient! (:

and and, i saw a super cute black cat that had like a white throat, like a bib! sooo cute can, and it had white paws while the rest of its body was black! booties! omg its sooooooo cute i need to go find the kitty n take its picture.

let's get closer and closer
i say no
you wanna take it slow
catch up, well, now let's go
together we run the show

are you ready?
:D

I am Ruldolph, Ruldolph is I

nose very red! very very red! you cant even see my face anymore, all you see is nose :(

isnt it funny how you always want things you cant hv?

like for eg, now i am using the laptop like i dnt hv better things to do n thinking of how freely i'll be able to use it come the wkend yet when the wkend does come i wont use it simply becos its too easily accessible. i'll be like, nahh i can use it laterrrrrrrr..........
and then the wkend will pass n i'll be like, why the hell didnt i use it????
human nature.

i wanna get me one of those cute jelly keyboards! v tired of typos.

can you believe i've done lit hmwk? one flesh, baby :D
tuition tmr! (again)
*nice smells*
:D
ahahha! qh, shirley, isabella, kanika ought t know.
teehee!

dude im tuning in to Muttons to Midnight and it is sooo funny. like tht day this guy called in to complain abt the MT oral conversation topic & it was hilarious. talk at trauma, i didnt exactly do much better,did i? :X

bestfriend was very nice today, she lent me her white button-up n belt. (i hope i fit!!) and thanks very much for the shoes bestfriend! i hate tht u hv nice sch shoes :(

movies i wanna watch!
Get Smart
you dont mess w the Zohan
Hancock
it's a boy/girl thing (whts the title, i forgot!)
hellboy 2 the golden army

d'ya think i can psycho my mother into paying for the tickets? we hv a v weird relationship. extremely rocky. changes faster than the direction of the wind. uh huh uh huh.
nvm, *changes subject*

i am v disgusted w oily food! i hv therefore decided to eat only conscience-friendly food for awhile. like, a wk maybe. we'll see how long i can tahan.
so,

food i am only gonna eat!
soupy dishes. soup soup soup!
sushi! me likes.
mos burger. hello rice burger! not the fries.
subway. yay veggies in bread!

uh yeah tht's all i hv so far. lol.

RADIO KILLED THE VIDEO STAR :D

lol ok v random. teeheeheehee.

Grace the Geek Speaks

i am amazed that i reachedhome before 6pm today! like wow thats rare, even during the sch hols, n esp nw on a sch day!

dude i still cant type properly, i hate my keyboard. isnt this suppsed to be a gd, new computer? jeeeeeeez.

today i did some exciting things! i pinned my fringe up, so cool n so nerd n soooo bald :D

i also kept dropping the ball in PE but i swear im psychic, they kept going to my teammates. lol.

now marcus is trying to con me out of my money.

dumdeedum.
i am sleepy.

OOH ytd i wrote a letter to my imaginery cousin who apparently lives in the USofA---

dude i just the urge to blog.

okay bye! hahahah.

straight talking

to those who read the following, just know that you cannot judge me based on what you see here, like for eg, a person can react diffrently to the same situation when it happens a 2nd time or whatever. all the 'no right to judge me as a person based on a facet of my personality' shit? yeah it applies here k. lol. if you're a friend of mine, dont ask me abt this k, i wld rather not talk abt it. thanks.

to a certain person in my life, you came and had a 'serious talk' with me. because i hv known u a long time, i know what u r gonna talk to me abt in general. what i do, what i 'will hv to' do, what i shdnt do, pull a guilt trip on me...same old, same old. n in the past it might hv worked, for then i was younger, more innocent, gullible, naive, trusting and most of all, i was disgustingly weak.

well, things change, as do ppl, n i am no exception. u seem to not get this idea thou. but anw it doesnt work anymore, so its nw more like u're attempting to pull a guilt trip on me. yes,it was unbelievably effective before, bt nw? u bore me so much tht i simply cant be bothered anymore. oh is this the 1st time u've been xposed to the idea tht *shock* someone might actually not be interested to hear wad u hv to say? jeez well, newsflash! the world wld be a better place if u kept ur opinions n comments to yourself (at least for me it wld be)

i dont understand it, i really dont. when u came to hv ur talk, exactly wad were u hoping t get outa this? were u aiming to 'wake me up to my senses'? dude, u're the one who's not getting it ok. did u want change? well insulting me n my friends are not, i repeat, not gonna what u want. perhaps u wanted gratitude? sorry, but i really dont see much to thank u for. i am who i am today because of u, yes, but i dont mean tht in a gd way,okay?

so u talk abt all these things i've heard b4, what, u think i dont noe them alr? you are sooo out of it. i cannot believe the things tht u suggested i wld do! there is no way i am gonna retake Os, okay dude? because there is no way i am gonna fail them in the 1st place. unless my soul gets sucked into another body in the middle of it,which i cannot be responsible for. and the whole hanging out w not v bright frens instead of the smart ones? bitch, u fucking hv no RIGHT to judge my frens, u dont know them n u dont know what they do!!!
my frens hv made me happier than u hv ever & probably will ever, yes they are probably more impt to me than u are, n im afraid nothing u can do will change tht.
nothing.
and tht's really sad.
they've made me feel better abt myself n my life than u hv, which is actually nt saying much but v impt cos u're really the most destructive person in my entire life, beating even tht horrid cashier at subway tht refused to take my cookie order n made me wait 3 customers n then hd the nerve to give me tht ugly look tht said she thot i was insignificant n ade me want to reach over the counter n slap her plain, boring n completely forgettable face. like, dude, my cookies cost more than you earn in an hr!
anyway, tht's a whole other bitch.
back to my pt, u then say tht yes, u can still be successful in life w/o degrees,certs n a job, but u'll need looks n brains (i.e wit), like ur fren Cora who married rich.
whoa.
firstly, Cora is nt ur fren. ex-classmate,yes, but fren no. the girl doesnt even like u, only u wld b so completely deluded as to think a "FRIEND" arranges to see u only once a year. as in annual, as in sad, pathetic life?
sometimes i dont know whether to envy or pity ur way of thinking.
anw secondly, are u implying tht i am a complete waste of space? i admit i hv no looks to speak of, but u r also suggesting i am am a stupid, gormless piece of rubbish tht will not be able to hold her own in a conversation w a learned man, much less be interesting n funny n clever n witty. im sorry, but tht is just going way too far. in case u havent noticed in like the past few yrs we've known each other (namely my entire life), i hv a functioning n intact sense of humour, n a good one at tht. (how else wld i hv been able to last so long w/o one?) actually i daresay i hv a kickass sense of humour, its certainly better than more than half the ppl i know, n not only do i know alot of ppl, i do happen to attend a sch where smart kids are supposed to be aplenty. so yeah, i THINK i will be able to hv a nice conversation w someone 'smart', okay, let alone an intelligent one,thank you very much. (because i think tht u can only be funny if u're clever) PLUS, contrary to popular belief, even if u're drop-dead gorgeous n machine-gun quick on ur feet, the guy might not want you, because he might not like, love you or whatever, if we're talking abt mariage. im sure there are some guys who know tht love is overated, yes, but still key.

i cant believe you think im a useless airhead. wow.

the grand finale of the attempted guilt trip was that u are paying a whole lot for my tuition n still gave me tht NYSS package yeah? well,just one thing. you wanted me to go to tht tuition, u chose it, n u freaking forced me to go to tht specific tution center (centre?). so u really cant blame me for the fees. anw i need it cause im stupid ,right, like what you've been telling me i am since forever? OMG! you're actually *GASP* right abt smth!!
and the package? dude if u rmb, i said NTH during the entire time, in fact, knowing u wld try to put it on my head, i took extra care in ensuring tht i remain silent, n i was quieter than an ant tiptoe-ing across a carpet ok. u said yes out of ur own will, n if u had no ulterior motives, i am certainly (if not eternally) grateful, but well. tht isnt the case, is it? you were realising tht i cld hv (rightly) accused(i think tis the wrong word to use) u of depriving me of worldly or material goods, so wanting to hv smth u cld use in ur defense u said yes. u wld hv almost fooled me, had u nt said "dont say i nvr give u nth hor" right after u said yes.

sigh. giveaway much?

lastly,& i wil probably burn in bad-girl hell for this ut i stil hv to say it. i will hate u forever, bt nt because of any one specific thing tht u did in the past, esp nt the incident i mentioned earlier to u, but this is the result of a lifetime of incidents. esp the insults, criticism. insults, lack of support, insults, destructve and downright bubble-bursting comments u've ever uttered to me.

no amt of money or no of gifts can make me forget the agonizing pain, im just not magnanimous enough to forgive and forget smth this big. whatever you may do for me i might appreciate, but i will nvr be able to thank you for what you hv done to make me me.

you are just really bad at the role you are supposed to play.
i wil nvr ever treat anyone i care abt the way u treat me, because i know how it freaking feels like. when you said it hurts when i tell you to go away recently, did u ever think of how i've felt like my whole life? i might actually hv feelings, you know.

however incompetent i think i am,however much i hate myself, and however much i hate you, is all a result of your doing. i am living proof tht a kid starts believing what you say he is if u say it often enough. its unfortunate i feel this way abt you, but im just not a big enough person okay.

after so long i hv finally become used to it, so when i looked expressionless just now, i wasnt acting, i really hv become like, numb or smth. i no longer feel as affected as i did before and u cannot hurt me as much as before no more cos i hv developed like an almost immunity to you.
and for that i am damn proud.

WOOHOO

Step Up 2 The Streets goes on dvd July 15 in the US!!!!
that means it wont be long b4 its here in sunny singapore.
yay yay yay yay yay!
omg feel like i've waited forever.
*grins from ear to ear*
am i the only one who loves Andie's (Briana Evigan) dancer's stomach? teehee ok tht sounds sick but she is totally my idol for that. great now the whole world knows i don hv tht tummy. whatever.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I CANT WAIT TO OWN IT!!!

come on everyone's got to like tht movie. there's eyecandy for everybody. (Robert Hoffman!)
LOL ok actually i prefer the Channing Tatum type. brooding gd looks, hahaha. anw did anyone watch X-men 3? cos i totally think they cast the wrong guy for the role of Warren Worthington The Third. he so shd be more of the hot guy type like the dude tht was in Charmed as one of Phoebe's love interests, u noe, the one who works in her building n she always sees in the lift. yeah.

i regret this thing i did just now, and i had to remove shirley's pic cos qh said she wont like it.

i wish i had an anteater.

today in my size 6 and a half shoes

ooh my life is so interesting. not not not.

sigh.

i want smth exciting to happen before nxt wk!

can you believe besties hv gone out only once so far? unless you count vesak day when ju, yiyin, ken & i went present-hunting and the tuesday when we went to watch Made Of Honour.

Patrick Dempsey :D

patrick reminds me of jitterbugs. okay it sucks that i cant go back to dance til November. i still havent told Olivia. i feel like a horrible person. sigh.

anw promised marcus i'll blog abt this

CHMA 08

19th July 2008

$8.00

Support Hosereel!

okay thts it. go to flickr n search CHMA photoshoot to see marcus look gay.

for those who dont know, CHMA stands for Cat High Music Awards.

dum dee dum. no comment.

found this in my phone!

awww our lower sec yrs. LOL we look so...small.

gosh im bored.

the thing abt the lift upgrade

so my block is gettig a new lift

i swear those ppl at HDB planned this, the bastards.
WHYWHYWHY doe most of the work hv to be done NOW?
i mean, they had plenty time b4 hols,no?
n im sure they noe kids like us take advantage of this time to slp in, some of us thru the day well into the late afternoon yeah.

no more we cant.

*DRILLING*
*DRILLING*
*DRILLING*

omg just die alr.
cannot take it, cannot take it!
*tears hair out in frustration*

a letter to my past

Dearest friend,

went to ur page the other day, looked thru ur pictures and

marvelled at how much you've changed.

dont know if its good or bad but still

i cringe at the life it paints.

clicking on picture after picture i think,

you look so different, you look so strange

you're the person my friend became.

i once thought it wouldnt matter

what you did or what you wore

we would always be as we were

bestest friends, forever more.

but time and space took that away

i no longer know what you did today

the events and people in your life

have left me feeling mystified.

what happened, my darling friend

is it me or you that's changed?

remember when we used to tell

each other of our lives in hell?

remember the day we discovered

makeup with our eyes all mascared?

perhaps you dont, but i do

and i hope that you do too.

when i think of all the things we shared

my heart squeezes with regret

how did we drift so apart

i wonder briefly, feeling aghast.

you used to call me late at night

and hang up when the sky is bright

you and i used to trawl the malls

walking til our feet were sore.

movies music shop and dance

to go out we never missed a chance

food, boys, pictures and birthdays

laughter, tears and karaoke.

hair and makeup, skirts and shoes

also chalets and barbeques.

through new boyfriends and old flames,

we swore our friendship would never wane.

but alas,only time could tell

we would be as we are now.

funny that your familiar face

is like a stranger's all over again.

i dont want us to be this way

but go back in time, i cant, no way.

wish we could somehow close the gap

reverse it magically with a snap

i'll do anything, i declare

yet i wonder if you still care

have you left me in your past already

have you forgotten me maybe

even if we can never go back

know this, babe, i'll never forget.

All my love,

Grace

Daddy's day

Its Father's Day!

you'll hv to excuse any typos i might make, im still gettin used to my new keyboard, on my new computer

tha's right! Grace finlly has got her on laptop, and she's typing like a noob cos of it! not complaining thou :D

just got it earlier on frm Daddy. you mght wonder, if it's Daddy's day, why is she the one receving a present?

well, i dnt know, but omg,do i love it! its a HP mini, u know, the new one th 987Fm hv been promoting? yeah its real small, and i keep wondering if it's normal for it to be so warm all the time.

so anw i woke up real early today and was at qiulin's hse by 8.15 to make CUPCAKES :D

yiyin didnt arrive til like 9.30, and by then we'd alr finished them and they were on the cooling rack. when she did arrive,we ate 2 and wow, they were goooooooood.

we spent the rest of the time there watching mtv and talking. her hamster, pokey, tried to bite me when i woke it up to touch it. its a v violent hamstr, according to qiulin. lol.

we had a v nice chat abt generic looking ppl and body parts tht wld hv gone on had she not kicked us outta her hse unceremoniously,leaving us to find our own entertainment.

so yiyin and i decided to go sing but realised it wasnt gonna be open for another hr so we went to find ways to kill time. at 7-eleven we browsed the mags til yiyin discovered Motherhood and the cashier gave us the evil eye so i thot it wld be beter to go lest yiyin start giving the impressio tt she's an underage mother.

w ended up at miss clarity cafe and we cld only afford dessert, so thts all we got. yiyin got a bread and buter pudding and i, discovering all the things tht matches my newly hot pink nails, ordered a strawberry ice cream :D

yiyin let me hv the pink cup cos it matches my nails. check it out!

pinkey nails are cool, definitly a new colour for me but its fun. anw then we went to see puppies :D

so cute! me likes chihuahas now. and the smth king charles spaniel. teehee. finally, we gt to the ktv. we sang til our voices broke and i was late to meet Daddy. was given a tongue-lashing n realised how little i am scolded by Daddy as compared to by Mum. anw Daddy didnt much reaction to the cupcakes,sadly. i was kinda disappointed but hey he finished them, which is the best compliment a cook can receive,right? except im no cook, but whatever.

then at home i fell asleep while watchng charlie n the chocolate factory, awaking to the sound of screaming in Incredible Tales. covered my eyes and waited for it to end then watched pushing daisies. then i logged into friendster, smth i hvnt done since like christmas.

sigh. what is happening to Gaia? first Myanmar, then China n now Japan. yiyin qiulin n i dscussed it n they were like, yeah, its like the end of the world. apparently thts real soon n ql was like yeah we shd treasure each day cos we might die tmr, n it kinda gt me thinking. like i've really thought abt i, n i seriously dont think i wld miss anyone enuf to come back if like, i stepped into a parallel universe or smth. illuminating, dontcha think?

go figure.

hello im a pavement chaser

haha i changed blogskin. i was getting bored. this isnt like, WOW but i like it so yeah.

lalala.
i didnt go to school today!
had a nice sleep in.

gosh i havent posted in so long and i really wanna blog abt lotsa things and all, but im so tired from searching for nice blogskins all day tht i think im just gonna post anpther day.

yep.
I AM HAPPY! :D

anw if u were wondering what a pavement chaser is, then too bad who ask you to be so dumb lah hahahah!

chinese debate research & prep!

wow i just did my preparation for the debate in chinese class and i hv to say i will be kinda sad if i miss it. thats cause i think my group's work is pretty cool but omg, we're up against strong competition in the form of Diana!

sigh i wld feel so much better abt it if it were in English. then we could REALLY hv a debate. in chinese, all i can do is read frm my notes and try to fight back in my basic chinese. doesnt sound v fun hor.

Jonathan's chinese damn power lah i am v jealous. i cld not even express myslf properly when i tried to translate my thoughts from english to chinese =.= and i think jared's chinese is gd too. i am soooo envious. sigh. HOW TO IMPROVE??????????

oh yeah, do my majorly overdue mt hmwk. *heaves great big sigh that blows five leaves down from every tree in Singapore* okay i guess its not that bad but it's just that I REALLY CANT EXPRESS MYSLF PROPERLY AND I REALLY WANT TO!

that way, i wld enjoy chinese SO. MUCH. MORE. who wants to give me free & effective chinese tuition? it has to be free, cos my family cant afford any more tuition for me (yes, my math & science tuition is v costly!) and duh obviously its got to be effective. who needs ineffective tuition anyway. (unless the teacher is cute, then it wld be effective in a totally different way...but im totally focused on studies, as you know. heh.)

okay i need to go do other hmwk now, so toodles!

easter sunday 08

happy easter sunday!

well actually, yes its easter sunday, but there's really nth v happy abt it. oh wait.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JUSTIN! besties forever.

anw there's nth v happy abt today cos im sick and feel like crap. i've been down with flu since thursday night, after eating caramel popcorn w meifeng. and then on friday i went out w besties to sentosa and we had a gd time, althou i felt really lethargic from all the meds. have pictures! will post asap. we saw joanne peh and realised that she's v slim and man, if only i cld wear that kinda dress she was wearing and get away w it. but she's not like, really pretty or anth. v ordinary, but ohwell.

ytd was so bleh. i cldnt do much except blow my nose and breathe. i cldnt even breathe properly, everytime i swallowed it was like choking myself, cos my nose was completely blocked and it was awful.

on the bright side it was a night full of romantic comedies. first up, one of my fave movies of all time (yes, i know its a chick flick), How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days starring Kate Hudson (who is SKINNY) and Matthew McCanoughey (whose name i cant spell correctly so excuse me if i spelled it wrong). i dont know what it is abt it, but i just love it. maybe the witty banter, or the hilarious antics, perhaps eyecandy in the form of Matthew M., or maybe just that im such a sucker for happy endings.
i think its the me being a sucker part.
sad.

then aft that there was Down With Love, with Renee Zellweger and Ewan McGregor which i watched cos i cldnt slp. it was just like, really funny. haha.

i cant breathe properly man. sucks.
dont feel like going to sch tmr, but i cant not go. there's PE, which i love. and there's EL, which is like, slacky. and there's CIP, which is impt! and there's dance class, which i will not get a refund for if i miss it. so you see, all in all, its v impt tht i go tmr. i can like not go sch on tues if im still sick, but tmr is crucial because if i did not want more CIP hrs, i wld not hv gone and signed up for the SJAB flag day this coming saturday. plus its 8hrs so i better get more CIP pts.

oh i think by the end of this yr i will get a new computer. my mum has finally realised how completely idiotic this computer is, being a decade old (wow!) and that i shd require my v own computer if i am to keep up with post secondary sch life in whatever sch i go to. plus now i really think that i wanna go TP and do psychology. i dunno, i just think its so fascinating, being able to read people. but being read by people? yeah, kinda freaky. haha.

i really love how to lose a guy in 10 days. i wished i watched fool's gold, bt ohwell.

ok i gtg do hmwk now goodbye.

point and step

hi wow its been less than one mth since i last posted, thats kinda cool.

just came back from bball camp ytd and after we brokw camp at six i went to watch step up 2 and boy, was i tired. anw, i was REALLY not enjoying wearing my glasses ytd, cause my right lens tore in the morning and i had no choice. but the nice ppl at paris miki said they'll replace a pair for me, FOC. cool huh.

so then step up 2 was cool, and Andie's voice really reminded me of Kanika's funky new voice during camp. it was so funky, it was sexaye :D
and yeah, Chase is hawt. in a totally different way from Tyler Gage. the producers of step up are so smart; they use a rugged kinda hot guy in Step Up, making millions of females round the world go gaga over Channing Tatum then they use a clean-cut kinda hot guy in Step Up 2, making millions of females round the world go gaga over Robert Hoffman. at least i think thats his name. anw, i never thought the clean cut look wld be hot, but there you go.

and when i reached home after the movie, i was dead beat. i went to bed and was dead to the world for 12hrs, effectively causing me to miss this morning's talk at sch which was at 9am.
oops.
well, i heard it was compulsory, but i dont know for sure. i didnt wake til one thirty, that was how tired i was after camp.

camp was tiring, yes, but fun. and the tired part is probably cause i didnt get a gd night's sleep on the day b4 and during camp. b4 camp i slept a totaly of 3hrs and on the camp night, im pretty sure i had like 4hrs of sleep. so yeah, i think i deserve a break. althou now it leaves me w less time for hmwk.
groan.

on the bright side i now know all the names of the sec1 bballers. those who turned up for camp anyway. and i hv 3 lightsticks (: and i found out that the student activity hub is quite a nice place to get some shut eye. that's where we were ytd afternoon after lunch. we were supposed to watch a movie, but somehow we nvr got ard to it.
when i woke up kanika was still aslp and the rest were stil playing, so i practised my split. ouch pretty much sums it up.
i was still trying to practise for dance after kanika woke up, but naomi kept laughing at me trying to point and step, so whatever. i dont get her problem, but really, whatever. still cant point and step, still look weird doing it, but aint gonna give up.

i think Andie has a really great body. like, curvy and fit. not even really delicate like most dancers, so thats cool. and her arms so so normal! love that. i mean, you can tell she's not all muscle or bones, and she's not fat either, so i really like that.
she can really really dance! sigh. and i love her attitude. the way she stands up for herself and doesnt care how others think. too cool.

i wonder who kept the tickets. hmm.

got a wedding dinner to attend later and there'a a ugly pimple on my face! omg. where is the justice. what d'ya think? pop the sucker or have ppl talking to it all night? i dont know.

i wish things werent so fucked up.

BE HAPPY!

are you happy to see me today?
you should be, cause yesterday could have been the last time you saw me

ALIVE.

yeah i almost died today.
no i am not kidding, and im not exaggerating either.


life is short, you never know when your last day on earth is, which is freakin scary, and today i had a taste of near-death experience.
wow.

i woke up and got ready for sch, blahblahblah then left my house at 6+ same old same old. crossed the road while car drove round bend in the road but its ok cos i made it safely to the other but, horror of horrors! I've dropped my belt in the middle of the road! i quickly run to where i dropped it and grabbed it off the ground (thankyou fast reflexes and shuttle run practices) and hurriedly glanced up to see if there was any oncoming vehicles AND OMG I SWEAR THIS CAR WAS LIKE LESS THAN TWO METRES AWAYS FROM ME. i could see the headlights and wow, they never looked so big and bright before.
this guy who crossed the road with me freaked out and went "EH! AHH!" and omg everything happened so fast, i swear if i hadnt been fast enough the car driver wouldnt hv been able to stop in time nd then my nice clean uniform wouldnt be so nice & clean anymore. and tmr's headlines would scream,
"Andersonian girl dies in car accident"
imagine that.
the random guy was still freaked out and i was stunned by the whole thing. it wasnt even 7am yet. he said to me, "waa, ni cha yi dian si diao leh" (waa, you almost died leh) and me, i was rendered speechless from shock. makes me wonder what i cld hv said anyway.

damn.

scary as hell.

ANYWAY.
lets talk abt happy things :D

two pcs of gd news.
one:

I PASSED PHYSICS!!!! WOOHOO!!!!!!

two:

ANDERSON WON!!!! BASKETBALL B GIRLS ARE IN NORTH ZONE CHAMPIONSHIPS! WOOT!!!!!!! :DDDDDDDD

sadly sec4s and 5s cannot come to support us cos principal said so. damn. ITS NOT FAIR.

i am so sleepy. i need to sleep. would i be a very bad person if i left my MT hmwk til tmr? yes, i would. but i am so tired. okay you know what, im gonna do it.

Kenneth says i shd drop amaths.

i am looking forward to 29th of feb (: leap year day. isnt it cool that i was born in a leap year? i think its super cool. leap year babies rock.
need to call qh. and yay cant wait for friday! its the start of a gorgeous two weeks ahead.

cross country is bearing down upon us. and so are O Lvls.
*bawls pitifully*

changes.

serious changes have to be made in my life.

i am sixteen now, its time to grow up and get real about life.
goodbye, grace of yester-years...i'll miss you.

I WILL STUDY.
there cannot be any more procrastination. yes, i lack the motivation and the push, and now everyone is pushing me (yes Mrs Lim, Mr Chye, Ms Mok, Mr Kam, Mum, Kenneth & Rick) and i dont want a repeat of yesterday ever again. so how do i get self-motivation? there really isnt anth to motivate me. i shall reciew this.

I WILL HAND IN MY OVERDUE HMWK.
i really will. pls dont give up on me.

I WILL GO FOR TUITION AND PAY ATTENTION.
sorry Rick & Kenneth! i promise i'll focus even with Dawn beside me!

I WILL GO BACK TO JITTERBUGS.
i miss dance so much! olivia keeps asking me to go back, AND I REALLY REALLY WANT TO.

I WILL BE MORE DISCIPLINED.
this is gonna be hard.

I WILL GO FOR ALL TRAINING.
starting next week tuesday, cos i hv medical appt on monday.

I WILL RID MYSELF OF UNNECESSARY DISTRACTIONS.
damn. goodbye taiwanese drama serials...no AXSY til hols :(
also, goodbye new hp w addictive hp games! :(
goodbye.

I WILL STOP HAVING SUICIDAL THOUGHTS.
yeah. im not gonna die.

i will stop being weird.
well, i dont think im being weird, but i heard that some ppl say i am. im sorry, but did you even really know me? i dont really know you.

i will be nicer.
i keep losing my temper nowadays for minor reasons.

i will banish negative thoughts about my body...or at least i will try.
support the seventeen body peace project!

i will maintain the present relationship with Daddy.
it has been too long(:

i will be a more honest with myself and be more honest to the world.
the first step to solving a problem is admitting you have one.

i will stop living in the past and concentrate instead on the here & now.
forget yesterday. dont think about tmr. just live for today. life is too short to spend pining for things you dont or cant have, and if i stop longing for graduation to come quickly, it will descend upon me much faster. cherish every day that you live, for you can only do so once! yesterday wont come again, and you can never do it over, so just treasure every moment. yeah.

i will not be a letdown.
no more regrets, i dont want to hate myself and i dont want to look back on this part of my life and think it was a complete & utter waste of time & resources. i am not a waste of space.

alright! i think that's enough 'i will's for today.
lol.
okay,i think i sound inspiring & all, but also deeply depressing. omg. im just trying to sound...i dunno, philosophical? hah.
going to do class tee with meifeng tmr. yay. and my door is doing weird things. i am scared. omg. recently i hv been having scary feelings. ok maybe i am just paranoid. yeah.
today i realised fadhil is very blunt! he just says whatever he wants to do & doesnt bother with being tactful. like, he just goes, do you cut yourself on purpose with a penknife? can you believe i used to like dawn? does anyone like you?
lol.
ohwell its better than like, being a hypocrite.

hmm.
life has been weird lately. feel like smth's missing, somehow. cant ever rmb significant things i did. its like im just drifting. i must wake up and focus on school work!!!
bought Ang5.0 last week. so high pitched! cannot sing the songs. Angela Zhang Shao Han is a gd singer, but omg voice so high. am envious of her range.
also bought AXSY drama ((:

today in EL class we had many inspiring oracy presentations! am SO jealous, if only i hadnt been so suay... feel like such an idiot after listening to them, me and my stupid impromptu presentation last week -.-

damn, i hv to go, hmwk awaits. hv to revise for tmr's math test. am in love with Emaths trigo. at least i will be til i fail. am hoping for the best thou, failure is unacceptable!!!

Go Grace, Go!

changes.

GRACE'S WISHLIST

PRESENTING GRACE'S WISHLIST

in the order that they pop into my head:
1. RED ADIDAS JACKET!!!! i want it so bad):
2. sport shoes
3. red Guess wallet (only $39.90, can u believe tht?)
4. new school bag
5. new handphone
6. AmbroseXuShaoYang A1
7. WangLeeHom Hear My Voice
8. WillPanWeiBo Play It Cool
9. (drama) Ai Qing Jing Ji Yue (aka Love Engagement)
10. any other drama starring AmbroseXuShaoYang
11. Big Tigger stuffed toy from minitoons
12. Leather bag from Topshop Kate Moss collection :X

yeah i think thats it. wow, only 4items (1, 2, 4 & 12) are costly! thats a new record. and if u're a darling and am thinking of buying me anth, here're more suggestions.

FOREVER WANTED:
a) Tee shirts (those in OFG & newurbanmale.com are cool)
b) wallets!
c) pretty necklaces

yeah see they're all very simple hor? (:
lol. im so hungry. how absurd.

Dawn thinks she is smart

and im back from tuition!

okay, so i didnt manage to finish all my unfinished posts today b4 tuition but its a start yeah? i just really wanted to get my wishlist up.

i used my hot new bag today! love love love it! and so i got cracking once rick gave me the ws to do for 'pressure'. i was so focused and totally being a good student...until Dawn came fifteen min ltr.

-.-

Dawn is incapable of multitasking!
Dawn is irritating!
Dawn is distracting!
Dawn is incapable of being quiet for more than two minutes!
Dawn cannot spell 'specific'!
Dawn is noisy!
Dawn is loud!
Dawn laughs at the most minor things!
Dawn has a super short attention span! (shorter even than mine!)
and finally,
DAWN THINKS SHE IS SMART!

yeah thats Dawn.
you know those wind-up toys? thats like Dawn, except she doesnt need rewinding. LOL.
if you can complete your work with Dawn beside you, you must be like, wow.
haha i dunno how to describe it lah but yeah.
Dawn really can talk alot :D

Rick gave us food! :D we got siew mai and char siew paos and yay, a chocolate cookie that was like, OISHI! i shall go M&S & look for it.
Syanni didnt go tuition today, hopefully when she goes next time i can go too.

lalala i love my new TP bag. shall go do my wishlist now! (:

IM STILL HERE

hey you! can you believe i havent posted anth since the start of 2008? sounds dumb but actually i've got many unfinished posts left in drafts so hahaha im gonna finish them and lioke post them all today :D

i dont wana go tuition today ):

heh.

HELLO 2008 <3

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYBODY!!!!

it's finally 2008!

i am so happy and full of hope about happy things in 2008, like for example GRADUATION, more BESTIE OUTINGS, i dunno, like everything!



Besties had such a wonderful time last night. sigh...LOVE BESTIES!!!!!!



so i woke up super early for my doctor's appt at 9.25am & you know what??? MUM LET ME STAY FOR COUNTDOWN! OMG! yay!!!! was so happy as is mum's 1st time letting me stay til after midnight.



then aft doctor's appt rushed home & got ready to meet Besties at J8. packed formal wear & went to meet them. JC WORE MY PRESENT! :D ken, justin & yiyin didnt ): qiulin also. ohwell. JUANNE DID TOO :D yay i love them(:



anw when i arrived at J8 only justin ken reuben & jc were there. ju & ql wld only arrive at 6 & yy had to do other stuff first. so the guys decided to dine at the cafe cartel & we had to sit outside cos there werent any seats inside.

and wow, sitting outside isnt fun. and we got served by this waiter who was okay, quite cute, but spoke like he was in the library all the time! we had to ask him to repeat every sentence he spoke :X

and it was crazy madness. for some reason we were all very high & laughed alot. so fun! then yiyin came & we had more fun & i received a mysterious sms from an unknown number.

you know what happens right?

hahhaha!



kenneth was like : "tell him you're his mother!"

(unknown number asked me who i am)

yiyin: "omg so lame who is it."

lol. then i replied some random thing & the person was like, walao dont play games lah who are you. yiyin& i got pissed and i sent a pissed off msg (LOL) & he was like, ohkay my name is -------- (see i am so nice i nvr put his name), can i hv ur name now? so i said,

"okay. hello --------, i am carl."

TEEHEE :D

kenneth wanted me to put hiro nakamura, so lame hor. lol. i wanted to put 'president of yiyin fanclub' but for some reason yiyin objected XD

but dunno how the person knew lor. he was like, yeah right, real name pls.

so i asked them what i shd reply & jiacai was like, use my name, i wanna play with him.

so i did (:

JC even gave him his email with a very scary sentence.

"maybe i'll even sign into msn & play with him."

teehee.



and so we reached yiyin's house v late! and we sang sang sang til we had sung all the songs we wanted to & took alot of random photos with justin's cool camera.

and then juanne & qiulin came & we all changed into our formal wear and took sexaye pictures :D

dinner was so nice, reuben had to leave so it left 7 of us and we had zu cao (i tink my pinyin is totally wrong. oops.) so nice luh! we were like this family & we started talking abt how next time we'll hv reunion dinner tgt and we'll get married & still do it & then our kids will be Besties too then our family will get bigger. haha very heartwarming. BESTIES LOVE!



then we strolled (and i mean super slow stroll) back to yiyin's and we basically started talking &talking. seriously. we had such a superb time talking abt childhood & how we all met!

SIGH, MEMORIES (:

and we even put our past differences behind us & all. quite touching.

kenneth & i even skipped heroes to talk. very wei da hor (:

then we brought out the 3 bottles of sparkling juice & started talking abt our hopes & dreams for 2008. shh...secrets shared, cannot reveal, heh heh heh. but basically everyone hoped to do well in GCE O Lvl lah. we all took turns giving speeches and toasted like many many times. and just as we were abt to begin our third round of speeches, Yiyin's brother came and drove us outta the basement as his frens were gonna use it. so we trooped upstairs and took seats by the pool and althou the atmosphere was damn cool, so was the weather =.=

yeah it was very chilly, sitiing there in shorts. but Besties continued our pre-Countdown talk happily, talking, talking, talking...stopping only when we heard fireworks & woots from the surroundings. we were living in our own time! we counted down to 2008 in our own fashion (you know, the late one? :D) and yeah, it was fun (: i finally opened up more to them, which is smth ive wanted to do for ages & i dont regret. i hope they realised that it was really hard for me, considering how long i've been keeping it on the down low...im so happy i have Besties (:

nobody wanted to leave, but we had to. all too soon, it was time to go & Juanne's dad whizzed us Ju & i back to bishan & i was home. and now its first of jan! cant wait to see photos we took :D


ohmygosh, it was just so amazing, i dont tink anyone other than the Besties present wld understand just how great it was. BESTIES ROCK :D