THIS IS OUR SONG THEY'RE PLAYING

am in class listening to anzoe's grp presentation, my grp is up next and i am scaredddd. feel like we miss out some stuff but i think its just paranoia. i hope.

was trying to do work ytd before gg to meet sheryl and jolene at starbucks, but chn5 had to screen new york minute, and obviously i had to watch cos ashley olsen's sooo pretty.

spent $7 on a mocha venti, was so gd, but dont like their whipped cream.

couldnt slp last night so i posted four photo albums on fb. and i nvr had any before. cool. addictive. v satisfying.

gtg, too nervous to type.

just beyond my reach; the weekend, the chips on the highest shelf and YOU

hahahha i just came up w the title. the chips part isnt true, cos i dont hv any, but i really cant reachthe highest shelf. sadness. and the YOU part is kiiiiinda true, because i want a lot of ppl, but all of them are like, not real actual ppl within my reach. for eg, i want marc blucas! i hv no idea where he is, but he is hawt. me like. haha.

i also want Leehom, D.Cook, A XuShaoYang (AXSY), vin diesel, no work, and the toilet. cannot hold pee. lol damn, why do i talk abt these things. damn damn damn.

i shd be doing work. damn.

was on msn for the longest time just now (2hrs, but its real long since i nvr use it) and was talking to kanika bout random stuff when i suddenly said, for no reason at all except maybe guilt, "i shd be doing work, but im msn-ing and wishing i were doing a hot guy instead" SKANKSKANKSKANK. where do i get these things from. lucky i nvr save my convos. hhahahha.

so tmr's class got pushed up to nine, woohoo! get to leave early, and then can go back to anderson first before meeting colin sinying and linhao to get bbq food. gyps outing! 6A and B outing. awesome-ness. though not as awesome as a movie might be. omg, we shd totally do a movie after supper!!!! awesomenessssssssss.

so tmr looks like a blast from the past, with sec sch frens, then pri sch dudes. promising. me likes.

then saturday...i hv no idea what im doing, but i gotta wake early. damn it. i think by tmr night i will crash and sleep as long as Rip van winkle. is that his name? or is it winkle van rip or van rip winkle or smth like that. gawd, this is dumb, i cant even rmb the coordination of the name.

gonna meet meifeng minshan yy the gang on sat, yay. wait, no yay, im broke as....my heart. sob. ok, incorrect grammar. whatever. lol, im plain broke.
then sunday, meeting kanika pris and misato. and khairi! to get my cds. yay!!!! i miss my cds. i hope we dont spend money. munny. bunny. irrelevant. food. hahhaha!

monday....relatives coming over. damnnnnn. i dont wanna pack my room, it'll take aeons.

i wanna sleep. yawnnnnn. i want to be seduced by the likes of erm, dwayne johnson! yum. ew, im effing skanky. ugh, grace! fuck, im damn disgusting. and hungry, me is hungry. me is also fat. and sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeepy. think im falling sick, keep having to blow my nose. not good, not good. bring on the Vitamin C! Vit.C. VC. reminds me of VJ, which reminds me of the convo i had w xinping just now. and colin, which leads me to tmr's activities. and the weekend. which brings me to this again. wow, cyclical. like fashion. damn, just reminded myslf of work. argh, how aggravating. i dont like to draw :(

i want a tiger. why am i so obsessed w tigers and cats? it's like jude devaraux's character in...remembrance, w the monkey or smth. lol no, i thik im just nuts. the monkey thing was so romantic. and tragic. and erm, not real. im lke earth element, so i gotta be grounded. real. not grounded like i cant go out, cos that wld be sad. big time.

maybe if i just close my eyes for a leeeeeetle while...five min, one hr...the whole night...NO I MUST STAY OFF THE BED.

damn, i suck.

the sunday that wasnt to be

im at bishan mac now sandwiched between two tables of families w children. fuck children. must they scream their lungs out every fucking minute of their fucking lives?

i cant believe i hv to be here. and the stupid person we're waiting for is effing late. and this is her JOB. fuck.

and i only hv one hr left on this laptop. fuck, again.

and marc bulcas is hot. okay, i shd hv been doing my work instead of watching tv. but damn, he is hot. and soooo sexy. so wrong to be talking abt this in public.

what it looks like and what it actually is

dont say i am emo. dont say i am trying to AA. dont say i am this-and-that when you dont know me. dont say leehom loves you when he doesnt because actually he loves ME. lol. dont say this is so typical of me, because how can you know that when even i dont. dont say anything you made up, Mum, because i dont know how you came up with it when it has never happened before and isnt true. (you dont hv the faintest inkling of who i am, do you?) dont say i am conceited, because well, it may just be true and i may be so pissed i'll kill you from a million miles away with my magic powers. dont say, "what happened? you know im always here for you!" no, i dont think i know. and i dont particularly care right now, but thats beside the point.

the point.

im not emo! im not trying to get attention! im trying to express myself. because thus far i suck really badly at it. really really badly. what i cannot say, i write/type. and there's a lot i cannot say. so yeah, expression.

yeah i hv a sense of humour, and yeah im funny when im anything other than content.

i think i need to sleep now. i think...i think...

what i could do and what i actually do

i swear im so close to giving up. and i think nobody knows but not so secretly nobody actually cares. we're all too absorbed in ourselves in these superficial days.

im pathetic, i just refuse to conform. fuck ordinary, i might as well not exist. my current so called existence is but an feeble, paltry imitation of life. and all you ppl who pretend to care are really bad at pretending. you suck, and so do you. leave me alone, im so tired of doing good by my conscience. why do i hv to be the only one with one? i hate me. do i ask for too much? am i supposed to be happy w my lot in life? how is that possible? family? laughable. friends? i am at the point where im not sure abt anth at all. i want answers. i want the moon and the stars. i want so much, i want so little. so many things, just that one thing. does it exist? do i exist? is all that we see and feel real? or but an illusion, an idea fed to us by some greater being? terrifying, how we may all be puppets in this long, arduous journey we call 'life'. (an interesting choice of word, when most of the time i feel dead.) imagine how every thought and decision is actually being engineered and controlled by some unseen being, and we are simply amusing pasttimes. like pets, but with less free will. and zero knowledge of what is being done. seriously though, what is the point of existence? why do we hv to live? why are we put on this earth? to suffer? to understand pain and tragedy? isnt there some enrichment class we can just take instead of actually living it? did i choose to be born? did i hv a choice? so many questions. do we get answers? i just want to run away like i always do. but maybe this time there is nowhere to run to. no more. i just want to get what i want. like all the world. it seems i was put on this earth to take. to take all that is hurled at me. you KNOW i cant stand up for myself, why do you still do these things to me? but that is only one of the many. im just so tired. so very tired. i should like to go to sleep and perhaps wake up in a different place. does that mean i still harbour hope? im only seventeen, i shd still have hope. to be without is deplorable indeed.












i could tell you all abt my days, and i kinda wanna, but im so tired. i'm just so tired. and i still have some fifty odd years to go.

Being British, Burberry, bad luck and best of fun!

YAY BEST WEEKEND EVER! okay lah maybe cause too long nvr go out.

FRIDAY
after presentation, Harvey dismissed us early, round 2. i was supposed to meet meifeng minshan at 4, so i was earlyyyy. boohoo 2modules nxt block,yucksadoodle boo. left for dover, met stacey & sabrina on bridge. how cool, sabrina was gg to dover too,hahhaha concidence is sooo...cool. and stacey lives at jurong, so we bus-ed to bedok tgt then train-ed tgt as well. hhhaha omg sabrina was in bball too, and captain on top of that, how awesomely cool is that!

Shoot I think im coming down with flu or smth damn damn damn swine flu. Must be the air con last night.

ANW, I reached dover at three thirty, so I was super early. Minshan took forever to pick me up, and she informed me that Nicholas and danny wld come at 4, so we headed into SP first. I got food, and met minshan’s classmates. Hmm, regrettably, hv forgotten their names, but ohwell. Nic and danny both late, but nvm lah since we kept nic waiting for a while while I chiong finish my food hahahha. Then went to meet the guys at dover mrt, and took 74 to island creamery which turned out to be on the bus route of 93!!!! My wasted $2.80 for standard ticket… :(

We proceeded happily into island creamery….and the first thing I saw inside was a glimpse of my ugly UGLY past. HAHAHAHAHA. Make that FUGLY. Yup okay. And I was so shocked, I turned around and walked back out. Uh huh, I was that shocked. I stood there for like a second, then pulled out my phone to call Kanika then discovered I had two missed calls from Cherie and Royston. Lol anti climax. I called Kanika after telling Royston I’d left sch alr, and Kanika laughed evilly in my ear when I told her Boobsy Bear was sitting inside IC, AT THE TABLE RIGHT EFFING NEXT TO US! Ughhhhh! He has so tainted that place for me, I swear.

I dragged meifeng over from macs nxt door and made her and minshan sit between me and him. He didn’t see me, thank god. God I hate him so effing much. Okay. Then, I realized his gf was our server. Hahahaha. I ended up eating my tang yuan instead of ice cream. Yummmm. I mooched around for a while, but…..he left soon after! Yayness. Sill had to endure like thirty minutes of his presence though. shudder it was not nice.

Then Fiona lee came and we went next door to macs where we all spent a happy three hours…or so :) soooo fun. It just furthur highlights my point of how in 4/3 you don’t hv to worry abt what you say or how you act cos no one will judge you. And we all get along so fine! We webcam-ed w yingyu for a while! Then we went home.

I was so effing tired that I missed a bit of zettai kareshi (ok still cant spell it!) how sad. Oh well.

SATURDAY
woke up effing late, had an awesome sleep! Got uber frustrated over unco-operating contacts and left house at three thirty, reaching yiyin’s at 4, and thus began our sleep over! We decided (after very long) to watch Harry Potter at yishun, and we walked the scenic route to the bus stop. Meifeng and I started to get into the mood by speaking in our fake and terribly bad british accent. Or what we thought it was. Hahahah. All the way to yishun. When I realized I’d left my phone back at yiyin’s. LOL. Oh well.

Got tickets, got food, got toilet break. Proceeded into theatre. I need to re watch the movie, contacts blur, cld only hear and see orbs. Lol ten dollars of orbs. When we came out, it was miraculously eight thirty. Three hrs in theatre! Coooool. We got long john’s and cabbed back to yiyin’s and then we crapped.

Yiyin and yingyu made their version of Cadbury ad! Damn lame, hahahah. Worst still, they made Harry Potter vids. one went, (pointing straw) “Lumos maxima!” and pointed, then the other switched on the light. LOL. We attempted Wingardium Leviosa, and sad to say I participated. However, it ended up on the cutting room floor. Hahahah.

NEED MORE FUN ACTIVITIES NEXT TIME! OKAY OKAY??? OKAY! Teeheehee.

Heavy dose of shoot/shag/marry. Then everyone fell asleep. I kept waking up, and I think I didn’t get much sleep, cause im effing tired now and all I wanna do is sleep, but I don’t wanna mess up my body clock, you know? Doubly important since tmr I start new block and it starts at nine effing am! I am so not wearing contacts if they’re blur. And omg I need to go take some flu meds now, just in case.

Kept waking up thru out night. And I didn’t really sleep. I rmb waking up every time yy or mf moved since I was sandwiched between them. No space! Couldn’t stand it anymore around 8am. Our alarm was set for ten, I was two hrs early lol. I think I woke yy, cos shortly after she woke up and sat on the floor. Haha.

We woke so early, but dunno why we still left at ten for breakfast. I ate two pratas! Hahhaha seven dollars on brekkie. Me broke-ey. L LOL. Yiyin left at 11 to meet her fren, yy and mf stayed to watch me eat. More shoot/shag/marry. They made me choose between cone, leehom and xu shao yang! Evil ppl. I chose to shoot cone though, KANIKA ARE YOU PROUD? :D

Then we paid and left, and I scared myslf by thinking I’ left my keys ay yiyin’s. thank god I was mistaken. Bus-ed home and watched a lame movie and then now it’s 5plus omg six soon! Where did the time go???? Shit.

PLEASE LET’S HV MORE FUN SOON! Next time we go…some café ah. If go IC again, sure end up eat macs again. We go some nice café to eat lah. Like maybe café cartel or smth. It’s a reasonable price. Or pastamania! We’ll get student price :D yeah yeah? I shall aim for this Friday. AHHAHAHA. I am like addicted to 4/3.

SHEETS OF RAIN, BED SHEETS AND RANDOM SHIT

HELLO HELLO IT'S LIKE SUNDAY NOW BUT IT'S STILL SATURDAY TO ME :D



woke up an hour later than my alarm, reached school at 9.45am instead of 9am, sorry kit and seph! then did work til almost 2, showcase almost done, i wish i'd more wow ideas, i feel sad tht ours looks plain :(



OHWELL I STILL LIKE IT.

and then i left for pang pang's house to meet meifeng and yiyin ((((:

damn screwed, i took 8, then 163 then 167. lol. took me a long time to get there, i arrived at like almost 4.

those two ppl are like awesome fun hahahha. they were sewing their stuff and i was jabbering on and on distracting them. meifeng was the only one replying, tht yiyin in incapable of multi-tasking lol.

we shared 2 big pkts of wanton mee round 7, one w chilli and one w/o, and then we got ready to leave but hahahha we got distracted and started talking bout random shit and then somehow we all ended up on yiyin's huge bed and lounged around and LOLLLLL friendster is so dead hahahahha.

yiyin kept telling me to stop fucking around lol i think im too used to saying the f word i keep saying it every few sentences! we talked about so much random stuff, i missed them soo effing much, i didnt hv to worry abt unintentionally causing offense cos they get me, and speaking of which, i so dont mean anth by my attitude, i just really cant understand you. the same way you were raised and cant understand why im being sucha bitch, i grew up w accuracy all my life and cant understand why someone would choose otherwise or even not try to improve. yes, i could try to ask again w/o being so pointed, but well hey too bad life sucks, you meet bitches, i've had my share of bitchcity and i've learnt from them so yeah learn from this, because that aint gonna cut it in the corporate world.

back to my awesome friends.

so we were having a great time on the sheets (LOL SOUNDS SOOOO WRONG) and although we'd been planning to leave by 7, at 8.30 we were still there, happy in each other's company.

as we were abt to finally leave at half past eight, meifeng looked out the window and realised it was raining, so i said, hey let's stay then! so we did, and that's how i got yelled at bout an hour later by the mother, screaming that i hadnt informed her where i was going and demanding to know what time i'd reach home. i said ten, but at ten fory five i was still there, yiyin refused to let us leave because her relatives were downstairs and she didnt want for any awkward situations to happens whereby the relatives are like, oh you were upstaris w ur frens instead of being w us, your relatives? lol so we kept having to check if they'd left alr i think we tried three times but they only left at 11.15pm, so yeah, meifeng and i ended up leaving then too. sooo late, seeing as we'd planned to leave since 8plus!

so what did we do in the meantime while waiting for the relatives to leave? some really, really dumb and spastic stuff. seriously. i dont know what possessed us. lol. yiyin also introduced to me the game of shoot/shag/marry. yeah,

and my favourite was when she said "YOU WANT TO GET MARRIED IN A COFFEE SHOP IS IT!!!!!!" HAHAHAHHAHA. i swear i laughed so much.

Okay great im meeting hem again next wk woohoo sleepover! :DDD

*NOTE: I am like posting this one wk after I typed it out lol lol lol so confusing hahhaha.

ALMOST THERE BABY, WAIT FOR ME

'sup.

you wanna know whats up? i'll tell ya what's up! i forgot to bring my internet connection thingie thingie to sch cause i was in this big rush,so now im like in sch w a handicapped laptop :(

so i wanna blog, but i cant, i wanna go on fb but i cant as well, so im like typing this out on wordpad and transfering it to blogger later when i get home, which will likely be well over 8pm. sigh. sah. lol.

yay there's zettai....okay, i do not know the original name for absolute boyfriend. but yeah, that's what imma be watching tonight, woohoo! i swear the song is freakin AWESOME. like immensely.

lalala........im supposed to be doing my reflective report now but the temptation to blog is too great, even if i do not hv internet connection. can..not....resist! hahahhaha.

royston was like "poet uh someone" last night on msn when he saw my pm, which was "i'll pass by but i'll go slow, i'll leave when the wind blows", and i was like, "dude it's a song lyric", hahahaha.
and it is! i heard it on the radio on the way home. some random song. i dont even know the title, lol. but whatever song it is, i think it reallly sums up my ohase right now. i hope the wind blows real, real, REAL soon, cause im getting real sick of going slow. fast fast fast! it's the age of instant gratification, after all.

can actually feel my brain wheels turning. the rusty wheels are like, so outta use. omg i am so weak, i so cannot stay up all night anymore. which is so not good for designers, because majority of our work is done through the night. i was sooooooo effing tired last ngiht, i took a bath and sat there in front of my laptop waiting for it to load and fell asleep. omg. woke up when my head fell off my arm and hit the table. hahhahah no actually i didnt kok the table, but yeah my head fell off my arm and i was like, "...wha?"

hmm okay irrelevant to the brain wheels stuff. it's just that i havent really done any real writing work for so long, i dont even know what's correct grammar anymore. i miss the essays and whatnot. okay i dont really miss the homework, but i do miss the ability to tell correct english from wrong. stupid A1 in english. stupid top of level in english award. i hv rep to keep up you know, i sound like an effing conceited bitch but this is all im good for alr, losing this would be like losing my identity. which, incidentally, i already happen to be losing. first the hair, then the eyes, followed by the arms, next the ahemhem, and now everything else! HAHHAHA i dont make sense right, but i swear im serious,

I WANNA WATCH HARRY POTTER, OH OOPS WHICH REMINDS ME I HAVENT REPLIED MEIFENG.
Okay replied. omg caps lock is really annoying. sigh i need to lose weight. lol irrelevant again. but highly relevant when you wake up every morning and put on smth, anth, and see all the unsightly bulges in all the wrong places. nasty, babeh

i want braces :( i wonder how much they cost. i heard like a thousand over, and i so cant afford it. im having trouble even scraping tgt the two hundred i need for contacts

ooh class's starting, Harvey's taking attendance, and omg Jane's reflective report is fourteen freaking pages!!!!! like omgggggg. ours is like 2pages each. omg. maybe we should go back --- HAHHAHA YEAH MAN Harvey just said our reports are due TUESDAY, HAHHAHHA. awesomeeeee. so we can take more pictures and write more woohooness. lol that doesnt even make sense.

OMG. christine foong is gonna be around on monday for the walk through and we gonna hv to explain to her our concept and everything. ohmyfreakinggoodness.

Righty-o, i have to go. time to work on assignment 2, ttyl :D

okay im home! hv collected my lenses yay :D and i dont think i'l be gg online later, im so effing tired and i gotta be at sch tmr by 9am :(

imma go now, bye!

LIES AND CONTEMPT, DRIPPING ON THE FLOOR, THE BLOOD OH SO RED, YOUR FACE A DISTANT IMAGE

OMG WHAT A COOL TITLE, I JUST CAME UP WITH IT ON THE SPOT HAHHAHA SHIT CAPS LOCK IS EFFING IRRITATING.

speaking of irritating, i dont know if i can stand it much longer! it's like, dont freaking TOUCH me, i dont know you tht well! and dont pretend otherwise! and for goodness sake get help.

argh its not like i wanna bitch or anth but it's like suffocating me. stop making that irritating sound, and stop touching me!!!!!!

okay sounds damn wrong. but yeah.

what effing lucky day, lucky day indeed, where got! stupid horoscope, make me talk like hawker ppl only. and and and omg i still havent got my mr bean dessert, but i had 2 soya bean drinks today, i swear it's not good for health to hv too much.

OH AND denise and reuben are both in melbourne! so exciting, 2 frens both in the same area. but reubs in ballarat, no idea where tht is, and no idea where denise is.

i miss the standard of english in anderson. not that i enjoyed it everyday, i did sit *there*. lol jeezballs i miss eating opp sch, and i miss being at the malls everyday, amk hub and j8. i swear you take those things for granted. nowadays im so sick of queueing for food at design canteen, and i nvr hv time to go to j8 or any malls to get stuff.

and omg, what, you annoying piece of gorgeousness, you think im stupid or smth?? huh huh huh! what! TP design sch not good enough for you? just because you go there now and hang w certified brainiacs means im no longer fit to hang around w you? well you're so wrong,its not funny. i could make your life so effing awesome, if you would just let me in. you nvr even bothered to find out exactly where i am, and now that you know you just dont care? you didnt even ask. eff eff eff eff.

LEEHOM, MONDAY, EIGHT O CLOCK :D yay awesomeness.

you know what, im sick of this this this, i think im passing by slow enough, maybe it's time the wind blows. yeah man woohoo empowerment.

JULY JULY HARRY POTTER MONTH :D

hello little people, i've missed you! hv been busy. and lazy. got a lot to say, but cant rmb anth!

need to slp alr, just wanted to say a few things.

BOO KEE HAH CREEPY SHITZZZ

okay done. hahahhaha! no just kidding.

am currently obsessed with:
1. mr bean tang yuan!!!!
2. SUNKIST ORANGE JUICE. it HAS to be sunkist.
3. TEH O PENG OMGG I LOVE!
4. stacie orrico's self titled album songs! (im stuck on you!)
5. her rapidly fading toenail colour!! gone is the pretty perfect pedicure ):
6. BURBERRY FALL WINTER AD CAMPAIGN OMG!!! YOU NEED TO SEE IT.
7. THAT HUGE BURBERRY BAG, THAT ONE THERE!
8. timingggg.

okay why is danny not replying. must be maple. ahhah i love my timing woohoo fate fate fate ok is born with it hahhahh shit i need to sleep. omg leehom's album got another version did you know did you know? i didnt know til recently!

and i havent eaten mac for like 3wks omgggggg! its good. harry potter, i want harry potter! rupert grint is like sucha awesome actor, i am like in awe. I AM ALSO IN BED. LOL OKAY IRRELEVANT. BUT KINDA KINKY :D

SHIT AM LIKE OBSESSED WITH CAPS LOCK KEY TOO. SLEEP TIME BEDTIME NO TIME!

The desire to stay out just a little later : A Tale Of Adventure

Our day started quite normally. but then again, dont they all?

So Huiting & i met up at 4.15pm at the bus stop and took 54 to Far east p, arriving ten to five and proceeded to the nearest toilet, where Huiting ... you know, used it. Hah. then we went to meet Royston & Cherie at Ngee Ann City.

y'know, everytime i see ngee ann, i read it like 'mary anne' in my head. like,"ngee anne". it's weird. let's just call it Taka. yep.

upon meeting roy and cherie we...oh yes, went to the toilet again. then we went to eat. yum. royston was wearing this cap that made him look so ROUND. like, mr round face. it was amusing. and cherie was wearing this nice top. skinny bitch :(

LOL. she's delusional, she wants to lose weight. someone pls get her a mirror.

back to the food.

i had sushi! and it was gooooooood. and so was the orange juice. i swear i hv this insane craving for OJ & green tea these days. and iced tea. i want some right now :(

after food, we went to find me some socks. how boring. lol. hold on, lemme turn on some music. ooooooh david cook. me likes.

(meeting kanika pris and misato tmr, woohoo! ok actually in bout 12hrs. yayness :D)

we strolled ard aimlessly in kinokuniya & i bought my fab mag (: then roy's sister came (i shall call her Char since i hv forgotten how to spell her name hahaha i hope she doesnt find this D:) & we went to eat mac/kfc yeah the food of the devil ahaaaha. resident calorie counter, cherie, had a hot milo. i however had an oreo mcflurry. ahhh the glorious evilness of it. wicked awesome.

am currently listening to BSB. LOLLLLL. backstreet boys. boyzone. boyz 2 men. so ... boyish. and their so old now haha. ok my personal fave was totally westlife. era of the boybands. so last generation. i feel so old D:

shit im digressing this was supposed to be abt Huiting & me & our adventure.

(oh now it's christina aguilera.ahh the pop princess period. britney xtina mandy etc.)

roy char and cherie left round 8-ish. i must say char looks more mature than roy. wow we ate lunch at like 5plus. how did tht morph into dinner at 7plus?? how did we spend the 2hr plus??? gawd time flies.
so after they left huiting and i headed to HMV. yay we love hmv. all those cds, all the possibilities...of course, we usu leave empty handed, unable to decide on a purchase or unwilling to part w the money. cds are so costly,but we love them. which sucks.

today however, ht actually bought smth.
behold!
Taylor Swift's album, singapore edition. haha $11.90, yes cheapo. haha no lyric book. not that it matters, since she can just borrow mine. i bought mine arnd CNY period. hv listened to it so many times, $17.95 is worth it.

me wants to buy cds. and shoes and bags and books. sigh. me wants to win lottery.

we spent a happy hour in hmv browsing all 3 levels. really wanted to hear claire guo jing's new album but inexplicably they didnt put it out for sampling :(
it's alright though, i made do w david cook (*runs to it screaming*) & kelly clarkson (*jumps up & down*). now i want both (*weeps for hole in pocket*).

by the time we left the shops were closing, bout a quarter to ten alr, but we werent abt to go home, the night was young and so were we, so we pointed our tail feathers in the direction of borders and got distracted by pushcart ice cream along the way. lol. ht got her ice cream and we went to the music section in borders. jeez we're such music nerds.

then we decided to watch a movie. hannah montana the movie, to be specific. so what do we do? attempt to locate the nearest AXS station! we hauled our butts from borders to shaw lido theatre, then the basement, then the underpass to the train station...no AXS station. called mong twice. no showtimes at gv or cathay or shaw. one last attempt to prove we can find an AXS machine : outside Marriot hotel. still no AXS! darn tht damned machine which is present EVERYWHERE but the places we went. ugh. we did manage to help out a woman in need of a cell phone though. our good deed of the day. er i meant week.

hahaha.

it was then ten thirty. sigh. we gave up the movie idea and toyed w the idea of the mac drive thru or perhaps the prata shop. but 54 presently came along so we hopped on. well at least huiting hopped, i hobbled. damn foam shoes, damn blisters.

i love bus rides. arriving in bishan we decided to go to the recently opened 24hr shop n save & buy random junk & slack somewhere. we didnt count on the other 7461 ppl w the same idea, much less the looooooooooong queue at the counter. yeah see how well that idea turned out, we were much better off at ksl, where ht got tempted by rojak & i happily got my teh o peng. mmm, it's so good.

late night supper is the way to go man. one big plate of rojak and one bowl of fishball soup shared, a lime juice for ht and my awesome teh o peng. yeah life's good. everybody seemed to be loving supper since ksl was quite packed. plenty of students frm the nearby rjc lodge and definitely all the bishan kids. damn, bishan kicks ass. saw edward again, he walked past and said hi while we were eating. second time in 5days.

i think ht and i were drunk on pineapples because afterward we stumbled back home walking weird and giggling way too much. okay fine im exaggerating, it was a sugar high, and i was walking weird cause of my blisters. teehee. we met cherie, the other one, the one frm anderson, on the way home and happily bitched bout kanika. hhaha just kidding babe, totally made that up. cherie had been studying at drive thru mac. sometimes design sch really rocksss :D
reached home at 12.30 and yay got the okay to go on thursday.

okay end of adventure. it was really a lot more fun than i made it sound, im just exhausted. need to crash badly. byebye now, more updates nxt time. til then, listen to david's sexy voice and try not to fall in love w him (i dare you!)
*collaspes on pillow* ah, bed.

AHHHHH!

am currently:

in mac lab above studio listening to Come back to me on 98.7FM and grinning idiotically at the com screen while doing H&C research. i love David Cook's superrr sexy voice!!

:D

something's cooking in here!

currently listening to: Innocent by David Cook

omg this song is so freaking addictive lurrrrve it lots lots omgggg. and and also love David Cook's cover of Hello, it's damnnnn niceee his voice is so sexyyyyyy

LOL

anw, 9 May to 10 June, is it considered 1mth or 1mth & 1day?
need someone to tell me!

Hello,
is it me you're looking for?

I LOVE HIS COVERRRR
heart heart heart.
lol so twit.

Goodbye May 2009

last day of may. sigh. everyone's having their june hols. everyone meaning the JC ppl.

meifeng kanika pris misato yiyin etc etc. too many to name, all enjoying the hols now. me, still doing write up on gallery visit. and i cant rmb the name of the tiger painting, i think its 'Tigers'. LOL. seriously, is it?

anw.

had great weekend! met meifeng aft sch on friday, after like 2mths! TWO MONTHSSSS. that's so effing long. and we only met for like, 4hrs plus. so short. then aft mf forced me to go home at 9plus i reached J8 and randomly went upstairs alone then BOOM! i met pris fiona tess and caryl completely by accident! awww so cool. hung w them for a while and then went home and slept happily.

ytd, i went to meet kanika pris and m at night at city hall and we did nothing, really, but had fun doing nth. im sure misato really like that band, Loover, i think. and i cant wait to meet meifeng and them again!

but now its time to buckle down and get back to that write up.

im hungryyyyy.

The Bauhaus influence

am in art studio doing Bauhaus project now!

lecturer from next door has come to scold us twice alr, and is on verge of kicking us out. hahhaha, we're like, much much quieter than the class nxt to ours last week.

anw.

sheryl glenda and yuko are in same group as me, and we're all like =.= when we hear 'Bauhaus' now. seriously. im supposed to do influence of Bauhaus, so here goes:

How does Bauhaus affect the lives of people today?

well, for one, it makes us tired and very, very sleepy. for another, we go crazy trying to read the uber wordy essays and sites on it. and then crazier trying to summarise them. and also take note of the site urls so we can credit them. bleh.

so glad im not an architect.

ooh i havent blogged in super long time huh. not much to talk abt, sch sch sch, weekends also go to like, huiting's hse only. hahaha.

might be meeting meifeng this friday, woohoo! and irritating minshan cant make it, it's her mum's bday. well who's more impt, me or her mum?? HAHHA JUST KIDDING (:

YAY NO SCH THIS FRIDAY, AWESOMEEEEEE :D

shall ask Nana and Pangpang and YY too. am i forgetting anybody? hmm must faster book them. lalalaaaaa.

ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nana says she has exam in the afternoon on Friday!!!! D:

OOOH later at 6 Morko is celebrating Khairani's 18th birthday :D

it's supposed to be a surprise, but i dont think he'll read my blog and find out before 6 o'clock today anw hahah.

and then we are celebrating Sarah C.'s bday too! hers is on the 27th, but just in case we cant make it then, we're sharing the cake for them two today. Nevermind lah right, more cosy anw (:

am excited! Morko-ness :D

oh man, tmr, 2D Art Fundamentals painting due........... i dont like! and i still hv many many sketches to do, which sucks cause i have lost the ability to draw. and i cant seem to draw fine, clean lines. they're all like, repeated, double or triple or more, lines. SUCKSSSSSSS.

...

Bluetooth rawkkkks.

huiting is in sch but she says she's leaving at 6plus.... oh man then who will take 93 home w me!

:(

and actually i shd go home early too, since i gotta paint my drawing...but i...dont....wanna....go home and get distracted by the evil that is television! 

i am v easily distracted.

okay bored of blogging!

TO THE SKETCHES, AND BEYOOOOND!

I WANNA WATCH MOVIES D:

freakkkkkkk yooooo

postcards postcards postcards.

i swear my degree increased in the past 36hrs omg hp mini screen so small okay okay must stop complaining LIFE'S A FUNKY BEEEYATCH hahhahha.

found old pic in my com, miss going home w them so much havent seen them in 9023752985 seconds except yiyin whom i just saw on monday (this is referring to pic3!) woot besties is love.

this is from jan 2008
here, justin havent join us yet we were on our way to his hse to surprise him lol.

good times. march 2008
meifeng damn cute lol no idea when this was! june 08 i think, on our way to class bbq :)

loves Besties super effinggg much most impt grp of frens in my life how do ppl survive w/o childhoodys LOL no such word.

and regina ong qianhui so cool next time we slap them tgt okay hahahhaha just kidding.

okay back to postcards. i love illustrator.

not not nottt.

old school new school

am amusedddd like immensely and super fascinated as to where this could end up.

i think having digital essentials as first module is like the most horrible for me because im a total com noob and i didnt even get my laptop back until sunday hahahaa funny how life works.

caiyu and sheryl were like dont go for cai's bday dinner lah must priortise but i had to. besties mean so effing much to me. obviously, if i knew i couldnt do my assignment like REALLY CANNOT DO then i wldnt hv gone,but i could. it wasnt as good as others, but to be 100% honest i think w my com skills it couldnt hv gotten much better.

mum was like yes you must tell me when you're gg sch and once again, that i cant let them down again feeling came, and i think i only hv to answer to myself my parents and God in the end so yeah i really dont need to explain myself.

in class today i saw smth and am glad i didnt point it out lol life's lovely. my cafe brochure isnt ugly, it's got plenty pics and im so sleepy gosh.

postcards.i know, everyone thinks i cant care less but lol i say all these things i dont mean, hahaha. i seriously dont know how to put my idea onto the postcard lol salah time running out. stupid screenshot.

haahhhhahhaha im so annoying its true but like lol, embrace it, own it. not worth it! mind your own business lah grace. lol. hello, you hv assignments too you know.

gosh think i might hv trusted wrongly but like lol, life's a bitch, just like me and you and my baby kanika :D

yawn.
big bore on the snore.

IS GRACE BIPOLAR???

LOL grace went for jam&hop on friday night at design space and was super high, almost went crazy inside! took alot of unglam photos, dread seeing, hope those photos nvr ever surface!!!!

grace danced w michelle and her scary (very very wet) hair and mostly stuck w mong and ht because morko guys suck lah cannot take the heat :D

no im just kidding guys, you guys the best lah go w us.
FIFI KHAIRANI AND MABEL THE BEST :D

grace doesnt why she is talking abt herself as third person but it is kinda fun in an annoying way.

although grace went jam&hop w michelle ashley ht mong fifi mabel rani and shijie, ashley left like super early. oh and we met michelle's very very VERY high fren, jun feng. after the guys left jacen suddenly appear and then after a while he suddenly disappear lol and omg it was super fun, i was so high because everyone was so high then cannot dance also anyhow dance :D

Jam&hop ended at like ten and i was exhausted, dunno how i even walked home. and then i had a few hrs of sleep b4 i got up for APEL. almost fell alseep :S

am in fabulous grp full of fabulous ppl, namely me! LOL kidding.

after APEL, mong ht and i were supposed to go sentosa because the rest of Morko v not on :(

but GRACE THE SUPER GENIUS psycho ppl until end up..... FiFi Mabel Rani Rachel and Eunice also go! :D Grace pro or not huh hahahahhaha.

then rachel reach vivo first, she wait until bu nai fan so she went in first w jacen, then the rest of us just sat there waiting, waiting waitingggggg until Eunice finaaly turned up at 3.30! hahahha i couldnt wait to go into sentosa. i was super duperly high can, everyone just stared at me like, eh what happen to her sia. LOLLLL.

at 3.50 we finally reached palawan beach! i think i quite anti climax, i so high then i think everyone thought i reach there sure play like mad but i just happily sit on the rocks and then sit on the sand and suntan :D

while everyone jumped into the water i sat and looked, and alternated between talking to myself and talking to ht hahahhaha.

grace cant go into water ok, she still sick frm freshmen shower, getting wet was how she got sick!
then stupid seniors try to pull me in, including yijie who suddenly appeared when michelle and jacen were contemplating carrying me into the water, waa damn scary can, see all that armpit hair, HAHHAHAHHAHAH.

luckily, grace did not get wet :D

and then Morko went to vivo where mabel and eunice left, so the rest of us went to kfc, where they flat out refused to go w me to sky garden to meet GLs :( they so lazy right. lol. so ht damn pro, she told me to send msg to michelle w alot of sad faces, then they will come. so i did.
and i sat there giving the guys my best sad face so they'll feel guilty until suddenly, the GLs materialized! LOLLLL ht damn pro sia. i was damn damn damn high, because the sad face thing really worked, so my face totally changed into the extreme opposite of sad can, hahahahha!

rani said he was v confused cos i sad to high so fast. so zai lah my sad face! wy i nvr use it b4 in my life!!!! hhahahah.

so we went to sky garden where i suddenly realised i left my precious shoebag in kfc, hahahahh then we all trooped back to retrieve it, so sweet of them right.

back at sky garden, mong and i racked our brains trying to play rani's rubics (lol cant spell it!) cube. i so dumb, cant even make one side, mong more pro than me. then after tht jacen kidnapped the cube so we got nth to play. so i dunno what fifi mong and rani did, but ht started playing rani's psp and i played....tap tap! whooo!!!!

LOL eh my first time playing tap tap okay, even though kanika has iphone, but i nvr played b4. i was mesmerized by the addictive game, hahahahha at least until jacen informed me tht i was playing it wrongly LOL soooo dumbbbbbb i think shijie said "no she noob so must give chance" hahahhaha how i know supposed to use thumbs and not your pointer finger right hahaha.

i damn pro okay, play until 96% lehhhh!


HAHA i play kids level. not even easy. kids. FUNNYYYY.

we stayed until abt ten then the guys wanted to leave alr, nvm this friday got morko outing, woohoo everyone mark your calendars, dont worry abt money because michelle and jacen treat hahhahah just kidding but omg grace super broke sia why everything costs so much boohoohoo somemore need buy that ah cai's present sigh sigh sigh.

OH WAIT marcus and yanliang owe me money! oh betty too! ahahhaha awesomeeee.

okay i am still very high, hmm, must be all that cough medicine i've been loading into my system. toodly-o everybody, i'll see you bnect week on the nxt installment of, IS GRACE BIPOLAR???

HAHAHHA NOPE JUST KIDDING. watch this space! :D

OFFICIAL FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL :D

was almost late today lucky jun sheng sms me and woke me up haha :D

put on random clothes and in the end wore this old old pair of jeans i havent touched in like over a year omg was so tight i nearly faint lol

after genesis i went to cheers to buy panadol haha so convenient. happeee :)

I HOPE I GET WELL SOON!

lol first day very slack tmr got class til 6, poor seniors hv class til 9pm. oh man nxt time i sure really really no life hahhahaha.

jealous, huiting might be getting a new mac book sigh sigh my sucky hp mini is so suck lah lol.

OHYES

Morko is like prob meeting soon right? yay excited! camp tht time i so not high so this time must be high high highhhhhh :D

wow how come my first day sounds so boring am too brain dead to think of interesting things aside from the fact tht ken missed his first class LOL SO FUNNY SHD HV SEEN HIS REACTION.

ok huiting going out for supper now so i must go home alr, toodles!

DESIGN ORIENTATION CAMP

hello its sunday and i finally feel a little more up to blogging bout DOC :))
excuse any typos i might make pls, not used to ht's keyboard.

after the freshie traditional shower where everyone was soooooaked, we all gathered in the triangular gardens where the cold wind blow blow blow on us then i caught a cold LOL so weak.

friday night aft leaving TP sarah sheryl monky (hahhaha) huiting and i took 8 all the way to tpy where ht and i had mac for dinner, thus resulting in my sore throat hahhaha im so dumb, know will fall sick still eat but hey come on, no one says no to a double cheeseburger....which is irrelevant cos i had a fish fillet LOL.

anw i got home near midnight and conked out for 16hrs str, waking up at 5pm on sat afternoon. soooo exhausted, i didnt even hv time to scare myslf silly thinking of the ghost stories GLs told us. hmm im at ht's hse now and am sneezing every few min sincerely hope i dont get any snot on ht's keyboard hhahahah.

slept a grand total of 14hrs from monday to friday this week, no wonder i was so tired. quite pro ar :D

see, i was up all of monday night reading the new CLEO til 3.30am then woke up at 6am. lucky ht told me and i told sheryl tht tues wasnt the stayover. i wore a red shirt and when we got there i realised all the GLs were in red lol so funny i felt so outta place. ht sheryl and i all in Morko *cue cheer*. am gonna attempt to list everyone in Morko now:
Grace Huiting Sheryl Theresah Chloe Pris Rachel Sarah Mongyi Shuwen Eunice Esther Meryl Ken Nick Cliff Khai Junsheng Eugene, GLs: Amos Ashley Michelle Jacen Sarah woohoo my memory is so pro hahhahah

what did we do tues? all i rmb is that i got the scary red eyes. lol. OHYA we had station games. and then we went to the audi for moses' long talk and everyone had to pee when we came out. and aft that we went to sports complex to learn mass dance where nick and i apparently entertained all arnd us. nick cant dance lol. and then aft countless de-briefs we finally went home and i, procrastinator tht i am, had to pack before i cld sleep, thus i only slept for 3hrs sigh.

managed to not be late the nxt day when sheryl's dad picked us up woohoo my acheivement of the year, i swear, then we all gathered in the Tgardens (am too lazy to type triangular gardens) where Jacen Amos Ashley and Mich all didnt recognise me LOLLLLL. see what a huge difference contacts make? scary red eyes forced me to wear specs for rest of camp, so everone was like, "eh new girl ar?", "who are you?" and "you nvr come ytd huh?" hahahha so amusing.

cannot rmb what we did on wed until Morko and Morba did the dance for performance, to Me Against the Music woot Britney! hahha althought i wld hv loved pokerface. its just so dancey, you know. then we all gto DOC camp shirts, yay, and we had to go audi for performance night where our dance got cut off halfway, making us all look super duperly lameeee hahha. nxt up was dinnertime followed by sentosa!

waaa travelling there tgt was damn fun monky and nick were near me so we kept crapping lol hv no idea what we talked abt though. when we got there it was sooooooo humid, i just wanted to pour all the water in my bottle over my head. like jennifer in flashdance, LOL. more games at sentosa until evryone was super tired and felt so dirty. Morko got back first, with GL Sara so all the girls chionggggg to sports complex for our awesome-beyond-awesome bath. then when Morko girls came out, we saw the super super SUPER loooooong queue for the showers and felt so blessed because we were the lucky first grp to bathe :))))

slept for 3hrs that night, woke up on thursday and had an uber big breakfast which affected my appetite the whole day, making my appetite very off. we all separated into our resp. courses. to all my frens who envied me for gg poly cos they thought i sure see alot of guys, get this: ADM only 3guys!!! LOLLLLL like gg girls sch like that, its so funny to see. met our CM and lecturers, and now hv got pressure to dress well all the time omg need to go shopping hahahhaha.

lunch was next, but i had no space for my spaghetti so had to carry it arnd all thru Pirate Race. ohyes, met Cliff's only fren, PH. since i call Mongyi Monky and Cliff Liffy/FiFi/Clifford, i named PH Peepee. LOL such a horrid name right, im so sorry man, its catchy though.
finally ate my luch at 5.10pm when Morko was doing our flag. everyone loves my clutch, im like Doraemon, i hv everything in my clutch lol. tissues, paperclip, safety pins, hair clips, mints, eye drops etc etc and the all impt MOPIKO! :DD honestly, i am like the bloodsuckers' fave meal.

aft flag thing was dinner i think which i totally COULD NOT eat.. in the end i had only 2meals tht day, but anw aft dinner was spelling bee. very long and amusing :) and then it was time for the much anticipated nightwalk which was rumoured to be super good. Morko was the last grp to go though so we sat in the amphitheatre for like 3hrs listening to scary stories and freaking out. lol. i kept thinking abt the shower rm stories, esp Jacen's, since aft that HT and i went by ourselves to the sprts complex and it was completely deserted. lucky halfway thru got two GLs come in else i think i wld hv started screaming like a banshee. haha.

ANW.

monky looked v scared when we were in the amphitheatre. and i was acting all aiya all the stories so fake blahblahblah but if you were one of the ones i grabbed during the nightwalk you'll know i was actually uber freaked out and haha nick act macho, so funny. then cliff was hilarious, he completely no reaction to everything because he is CLIFF. LOL. and theresah was screaming thru out. all the 'ghosts' were superb actors! i was esp scared of the crawlers. i swear at our second stn i cld feel my knees knocking tgt, i was so scared. hahhahaha.

Morko bathed last that night, and as i said earlier Ht and i went to SC to bathe thinking all the Morko girls wld be there too but they werent and we were like, okay nvm, just bathe! hahaa then on our way back, a grp of guys were like, "dragonboaters in strike!" in our path and then tried to block us, haha, i was just like, "ah okay we step over you ar" lol they think they very funny i think Jacen was amongst them, tsk tsk why seniors so childish hhahha jk.

after a sleep that was more like a nap, we were up and cheering in Tgardens, super fun. we went and irritate all the other sch ppl who walked by, LOL. i cant say seniors childish alr lah, cos we all also strike to block the engine and business ppl hhahahahaa. stayed in Tgardens til aft lunch, then headed to SC where the entire TP freshie grp were. cheer cheer cheer, sweat like mad, then went to bedok reservoir for Regatta :) it was fab! i cheered like mad. lol tht rhymes :D

cld see Matthew wakeboarding, so cool, was right in front of us. and our cheering paid off as Design won Best Spirited Sch :DDD at 6plus all design freshies gathered in design sch and Moses was like, "freshies, welcome to design sch" and a truckload of water descended from above onto all the freshmen. LOL. heng my clutch waterproof. felt so much cooler after the "shower", little did i know i wld fall sick because of that, haha. Morko group hugged w the dry Sarah and Jacen in the middle but still failed to get them wet sigh lol. my shoes were like water catchment areas. so glad i brought extra everything. aft we changed, Morga took grp pics and hugged and then at abt 9plus everone finally left for home.

and you know the rest.

during the camp itself i felt it was not v fun, until the last 2days. and then an hr aft we left camp i was missing camp terribly alr. sigh although we'll still see each other in sch the feeling will be different! and Morko wont see Jacen anymore since he's graduated. and i will miss everybody because ADM's schedule is like v diff from others. Ht ends at 3pm tmr, and i think i hv no class til 3pm, omg, what am i supposed to do? haha think will stick w sheryl.

ok this post is super long and i am super hungry now so willl go eat my food, byebye now! :D

cheaterbug?

i just confronted a spree organiser who might be trying to cheat me of money. i hope not, but in the mean time i will wait for her reply before i take any further action. lol i make it sound like imma do smth scary. i might, after all i have evidence. hahahhah.

and so far i am being cheated by khairi as well. he owes me over a hundred dollars worth of cds. i am so not amused. he better return them, because dude, i know where to find you. muahahahhaha.

irritating ppl. is it possible to like, sue them? hmm.

so not decent.

so irritated by them.

am going to watch a movie tmr, yayness. and i believed fiona tagged me in many unglam pics on fb so am gonna check them out soon. and like untag myslf haha.

hair despair

okay, so i've hacked off like maybe 60% of my hair ytd.
and i am SOOO not used to it.

last night i kept having NO hair in my face and i didnt hv to brush any hair away at all. and then i can no longer pull all my hair to one side of my head, and that feels real strange. and in bed, i kept trying to pull my hair out from under me (cause it was so long previously, it kept getting caught underneath me and everything. and lemme tell ya, it is NOT fun to try to do smth as simple as push urslf off bed and pull out a few hairs accidentally cos the elbow you used to push urslf off bed w had caught a couple of strands of hairs beneath them) but i didnt hv to at all.

and i kinda feel like im growing a mushroom on my head.

okay, so its not thaaaat bad, but its...... different.

very different.

i know its a practice of mine to grow my hair out super long (yes i know it was really long) and then want a change and chop it all off so its quite short, then i'll miss the long hair and grow it all out again and then i'll feel it's boring and want short hair again.
well, so yeah, it's short, but this time it's not as short as when i cut it a few yrs back. this time i guess it's mid length, but it's still freaking strange to me.

not the length part, but the style part.

omg.

because get this,

i permed my hair.
okay the hairstylist did it, but lets not get technical. still. i am now the unsure owner of a hairstyle that is smth i so do not want to emulate nor be. as a result, i am at a loss of what to wear. that is a common occurence, i admit, but this time, its because i feel nth in my closet SUITS me, or rather, the hairstyle i now hv. i so miss my longer hair, cause i feel if i had the same hairstly, only longer, at least i wld know what to do w it, and w myslf. but hey, i wanted a change right?

so here i hv it, so i cant complain. much. sigh.

i look like a completely different person!

a haircut creates miracles. some good, some....not so good.

March is here!

i love March, woohoo! :)))

am blogging at qh's hse now, i think she's in the shower, anw im happy cos my spree person has like,finally emailed me back and im finally gonna receive my stuff soon.

also, i dont know, i just hv this happy balloon welling up inside me.

later im heading to the library. gosh, im such a bookworm.

wow boring post. sorry, cant help it, it's not like im doing much these days.

ooh last week i went to national library w minshan and we had fun going up and down in the lift. well at least, i did. minshan wasnt too thrilled, haha. and then we walked from bugis to city hall to dhoby ghaut! cool right, hahahahha.

tmr fiona, minshan and hopefully meifeng and i are going to watch a movie and then catch up. well i havent seen mf in 2 wks. and misato i havent seen in forever. she better meet pris k and i soon.

okay i gtg now, qh's mum has cooked dinner for us alr! byee!! :D

the sunday that wasnt sunny

man oh man another plan that fell out. im supposed to be out having fun w kanika misato and pris but nope. i think pris is still happily sleeping.
and to make it worse, its raining and my mum wont be home for like many many hrs so its likely i'll get tempted to order mac again esp simce the rain just makes ppl wanna, you know, stay in watch movies and stuff their faces. or maybe its just me. whatever.

sigh. got sick last sunday and just recovered. i got an email informing me the expected results of my appeal. jksrdhyaslkfgv. lol. oh well im happy. well, as happy as i can get considering.

to think i woke up hrs ago. 10am is unheard of. and lookie, its like almost 2pm now, omg, like where did the time go and i do hope this rain ends the unbearable heat wave that renders me so lazy. well, lazier than normal, which is saying smth.

gosh my life is so POINTLESS right now. i even wish i hv hmwk to do. but then again if i had any, i prob wld be doing the same thing i am doing now and not the freaking hmwk.

i need to talk to juanne. rahhhhhhhhhhhh.

no one wants to help me with my laptop. damn helpful frens. i am so going to youtube and like, watching random videos. me and my grand go out all day plans. jeez, the latest i was out this wk wasnt even planned! sigh hear the rain pounding on the rooftop, its very....therapeutic. or maybe angry in a really wet and angsty way.

i love skip beat!! yay.

oooooo

i am boreddd and STARVINGGGGGGGGGGGGGG.

soooo hungry. wanna cram food into my mouth, but am lazy to go out. and hv ordered in for past two days. real food wld be welcome. dont like JC! it keeps everyone so busy. annoying.

minshan is like, playing at orchard :(
and so is like, meifeng and the jap class crew.

and qh is at ps or smth.

i am very very bored.

mcsteamy can only interest me for so long. sigh.
MCSTEAMY IS MEGA HAWT.

ONLY SEVENTEEN

Grace turned 17 yesterday! woohoo only a few more yrs til im LEGAL :D

my birthday celebration was so unexpected, i mean, who climbs playgrounds in miniskirts?
apprarently, i do, but SHHHH dont tell nobody. LOL.

Kanika, Pris & Misato waited for me for like half an hour before i emerged from my lift (strange sentence, lol) and then now i still hv some cake in my fridge, yay, and you know what, their present was really strange at the time, but i am fully loving it more with time. i hv shiny nails! :D
and i spent 40min colouring in my brand new colouring book at 3am. man, im 17, but i havent done colouring books since i was 7! tsk, those 3 bring out the worst in me ahahhah.

we did dancing queen! that's my theme song this year, dont steal! Party World was so much much, Pris proved to be as much of a Britney fan as i am, LOL. so much fun doing karaoke with them! we do chinese, english, hindi and japanese songs. FUN HUH HAHAHHAHA.

me is getting leehom cd later!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

if meifeng has forgotten to bring it i am fully doing smth mean to her. *evil laugh*

so now im blogging when im supposed to be doing chores and then later imma go meet yingyu sofiyah and meifeng and we're gonna celebrate my brithday! yay im a lucky girl :)

tmr is class chalet! i wonder if i shd wear class tee there or change into it later. hmm.

omg this is such a boring post! hahahhaha i think i'll come back later :D

temporary insanity

HELLO I AM HIGH HAHAHHA FROM LCK OF FOOD/SUGAR BUT I FEEL DAMNNNN GOOOOOOOD. gooooo. LOL. i dont like goo.

i have registered for JAE! yay so exciting. i know two other ppl who hv registered for the same courses but from different schs. bah. i think i need to appeal. boo. hahahhaha. yes, my brain cells are not fully functioning right now. i need to call qiulin and yiyin and yingyu and tell them smth but i cant call anyone now cos i've exceeded free outgoing calls for BOTH my phone lines and my house phone is acting up cos its nutty.

so what did i do today? well i woke up early and had nth to do so i went back to slp and then woke up at 1, and registered for jae at like, 3.30pm and then i got the VS but before i cld log off, it timed out. hahahha. does this mean i didnt do jae? no, right? cos i alr hv the VS. hmmm. hahahha imagine if i cant get into anywhere cos of that. i will DIE.

and then yiyin called me. she wanted to go out for a movie but it like was in 15min so we cldnt make it so she declared it a slack day and went to paint her toenails. and me? i called qh and kanika and later i am going out to meet qh so she can sit and watch me eat, woohoo :D

tmr i need to find someone to go out with me so we can go shopping like immed. after Daddy gives me money and omg or am i supposed to stay at home? i dont know, see what the autocratic mother demands :))

i am exciteddddd. i want to have like four birthday cakes this year! i love cake because i have had v few of my own birthday cakes in my 16 yrs. sad life. i wish i cld like, have siblings. i want an older brother and an even older sister. yay maybe i'll get adopted by a nice family hahahha just kidding.

i am happy i wanna dash onto the street and hug random ppl but nah maybe i'll just like vacuum the floor or smth LOL irrelevant hahhaha cool its time to go watch yu le bai fen bai and see if they have any new on leehom woohoo okay byebye!

if anyone even reads my blog after this dumb post, it must be because someone up there loves me and i have weird frens. LOL nice frens. hahahhahah BYE :D

countdown to a new life

only about 23hrs and 13min left to register for JAE. only that much time left to find a friend with a working printer. only about 23hrs left to decide where i wanna go. damn damn damn. decisions are so not my forte.

i feel alienated.

i dont want a combination. i cant tell you though.

so two days ago i found one of my old notebooks from way back in 2004 and realised that then i really wanted to pick up a new language. i put down a choice of either French or German. i have no idea why French, but i suspect German was because i was very into X-Men Evolution then and Kurt Wagner was always one of my fave characters and yup, Nightcrawler's German. LOLLLLL. childhood.
you know what, i would still like to learn a new language. not German, cause the reason behind it is just too lame. hahhahaha.

maybe i shd get the French for Dummies book. lol.
HINT HINT.
:D

Reuben is flying away on the 23rd. perfect, one day after class chalet ends. no clashes. sigh. Besties getting smaller. i hate all the inner cliques within Besties, i think they serve no purpose than to alienate ppl. whoops, i told the truth. sigh.

am suddenly very fed up with life. fed up. fedup. LOL. had a v cool/weird dream last night. well actually more like this morning, i only had it after i switched off my alarm at 11am. yeah i really need to wake up before 1pm, daylight's burning out there.

oh oh oh you know what!!! i actually got A-freaking-2 for Mother Tongue!!!! how's that for miracles. hah. and A1 for English, yayness. (if i didnt get that i probably wld hv like walked in front of a bus or smth) i am linguistically inclined, woohoo! too bad i aint going to ACJC, VJC, RJC or Tampines JC, i would really like to take English Studies. am insanely jealous of Kanika. think there's any chance of me majoring in English in university? lol.

hey, since im not bad with languages (A2 for MT! retaking was SO worth it :DDD) maybe i can really learn like, a new language!!!! *excited* SOMEONE BUY ME THAT BOOK, ahhahaha.

am going to youtube to watch leehom videos now. (HEY, i gotta get my fix SOMEHOW. least its not of HARRISON FORD. hear that, KANIKA? LOLLL.)

2009's number one?!

omg i cant believe its my first 2009 post!

sorry everybody, my laptop died and i havent repaired it yet, am currently using the 'lao gu dong' computer tht belongs to my mum and it sucks big time. not only is it superrrrrrr slooooow, there's smth wrong with almost everything on it, its a surprise i can even use the internet!

As a result of my dead laptop, i havent checked my email in like 3 mths and omg i owe a spree organiser payment and i feel so freaking bad!!!

i really need to fix my laptop huh and omg my birthday is coming, how crazy is that.

I FIGURERD OUT WHAT I WANT.

i desperately need a memory card for my camera with like, a lot of memory space. but lol if i receive it then it'll be so like, anticlimax. and and, leehom's new songs sound so uber nice! go listen if you havent. i mean, BUY THE FREAKING ALBUM. yingyu says shes getting it for me!!!! YAY. i hope she gets it from heeren hmv, apparently theres free calendar. i wld LOVE an eyecandy-filled calendar, so YINGYU, PLS GET FRM THERE :D

i will also be very happy with book vouchers, cd vouchers, and movie vouchers. lol. and i need a new bag. dont buy me more jewellery please, haha. i dont know what else i want, maybe you shd ask me or smth. i want a plane ticket to some places, but no one i know's gonna get me that so haha.

Juanne owes me a blogskin, i dont think she rmbs. and some ppl owe me money, i must rmb. and like wow i so need a haircut, my hair is freakishly long. lalala.

i will be back! toodles!

LET US SING

OH WHAT IS THIS SONG MY HEART SINGS

THIS TIMELESS TUNE AND LALA-ING?

AH IT IS THE HAPPY SONG!

LOLLLL.

can you tell im happy?

yes! it has been a good day. despite the rain and lack of umbrella. didnt get soaked though so thats okay.

today was korean food day! and it wasnt postponed! yay, lol.

kanika came over at bout 2, and we proceeded to bore ourselves silly. i was in a MOOD. you know, females and their moodswings.  but i got outta it soon. i have hot pink toenails! its very....bright. yeah. lol. we talked bout many things like my ridiculous diary from last year and quoted many movies :D

 so i took like 2 hrs to get ready, inclusive of toenails and then we were off to bubble tea shop. after a waffle (me), milk tea and cheese fries (her), we went to j8 for candy and soya bean milk. well she for candy and i the other, but yeah. and we reached novena early!

and me brought my camera to take pics of our food but only rmb-ed after we finished everything =.=

my saba fish was awesome! and justin didnt mesh too bad with us at all. matthew was surprisingly tall. like, woooooo talll. unfairity. LOL talking like Jolene from Calefare. loads of weird things were discussed over dinner, after which we had dessert!

matthew had yogurt

i had soya bean ice cream (SOOOO GOOD!)

kanika had donuts

misato had donut

justin had mint choc ice cream

yay! we were all happy and stuffed.

we found a nice place to put our butts and started crapping abt everything. lol, leg hair, chest hair, facial hair, waxing, eyebrows, toe lengths, hair treatment, indian ah lian and the one topic that owned everything: Misato's stupid deed. lol. it was so dumb i still cant believe her.

jeez. *shakes head*

and then we went out separate ways and justin is leaving for NZ on thurs, back nxt sunday, yiyin for china this sunday back on 12 and kenneth back on 18 i think....damn cant rmb.

woot i am just so ridiculously happy because i havent seen them all in so long and its rare that besties see each other alone, so it was like knowing justin as a different person. im glad we meshed. like, the girls, then matthew and justin, then matthew and misato (LOL), and me and justin. and i think we're watching twilight tgt next wk, well not justin since hes gonna be in NZ with the baabaa and the kiwis. ah the kiwi.

oh and i think i may have a job by tmr, if baikohken hires me. hope i can say tencho. lol. yay i am happeeeeeeeeeeee.

khairi and i were just talkin bout how nobody knows the magic of photos anymore. like, evrybody uses digital cams and dont develop pics and it just aint the same. i wld really like to print some of my pics, but i think it may cost me alot of money. BUT ME WANTS USE MY MANY PHOTO FRAMES :(

okay i need to watch avatar and skip beat. me will talk to you later.

USE ME USE ME!

im quite sick of ppl using me whenever they see fit and then discarding me as though i no only have any worth. oh they come back, sure, but only when im needed once again for help or company, and after that, i might as well be non-existent.

strangely enough the status is nvr two-way. when i need smth, its always "oh sorry i have this thing on" or when i want smth its "oh but i dont feel like it why dont you do this other thing instead"

and on the rare occasions someone else initiates smth and i push for details, its

"oh why must i decide everything, very irritating leh, i decide that thing can you go do the other things or not", which of course, sounds very fair, except i dont hear any complaints when i am the one to plan, organise and execute everything. then, you just sit around meekly and nvr think to say anth like "oh why must you organise everything can i decide on smth please"

i suppose when i do it, it isnt irritating at all, because i am oh i forgot, just as human as the rest of the world.

sure, i know its simply EASIER to LET someone else do all the planning, cos then all you hv to do is show up, huh. oh and planning is so troublesome, checking with everybody this and that, its easy to get tired of it. i sure know how that feels! seeing as i do virtually most of the planning (and i use the word 'most' loosely, as if i go thru all the past times we went out tgt, all of us i mean, it can be counted on one hand, and I am very sure I was the one who had to handle all the tiny details, never once having had any help, and not because i didnt ask for it, but because everytime i asked for smth, like an opinion, its OH ANYTHING LAH YOU DECIDE LOR) and everyone thinks its so easy breezy for me to do, all you need to do is plant an idea in Grace's head and she'll plan everything for you "oh grace let's do this tgt! ask so-and-so out also lah!"

oh okay, sure, it's not like I AM GOOD FOR ANTH ELSE ANYWAY!

and then, odd as it is,  find i am always the one who has to pick up the pieces and solve everything whenever a problem arises, which is, by default, THE ORGANISER'S RESPONSIBILITY yeah, so duh, just leave it to grace. yet on the rare rare rare occasions someone else has planned smth and a problem comes up, "oh grace can you ask what happened? im so confused can you do it? okay bye!" sure, i can do it, but maybe i dont want to? i really am sick of doing all the work, why cant i just SHOW UP for once and not hv to do anth, to deal w anth? why do i hv to pick up the pieces? why do i have to solve every problem?

when i help ppl, its because i want to, not because i have to. yet, just cos i do it, doesnt mean i am EXPECTED to help, after all it IS your problem, and i am actually doing you a favour, so dont you go all sulky on me when i suggest other ppl to help you or tell you that i cant help you. and i absolutely hate it when ppl whine/sulk "then how?", i mean, HOW THE HELL DO I FREAKING KNOW, DO I LOOK LIKE SOME KINDA COMPUTER TO YOU? DO I LOOK LIKE I HAVE THE DATABASE TO AUTOMATICALLY AND EASILY SOLVE YOUR PROBLEMS? i mean, i use my brain like everyone else, so go use yours and think of a solution by yourself.

so sick of being used used used.

and its not like its by one person or two ppl or smth. its basically everybody i know. like, if you have the time to complain that no one has organised anth, then go do smth bout it yourself. when someone is kind enuf to plan smth, it does not mean that the person has to do it all the time. if you want to complain abt being forgotten, then stop sulking and be pro-active; make someone feel remembered and important and then next time you wont likely to be forgotten then, will you? jeez. instead of being completely selfish (i hate selfish ppl, who made you all impt anw) and refusing to attend someone else's bday party just cos no one rmbed yours earlier in the year. ugh. its truly disgusting. i mean, the person's your fren too!

the least you could do is be grateful when someone else does all the work, and then do it instead the next time round, instead of taking it for granted and sitting back in ease waiting for the next invitation.

used used used. do i have 'use me' tattooed across my head in bold? i dont understand. everybody freaking uses me.

dont use me as your punching bag, i didnt cause your problems. dont use me as your events organiser, i didnt sign up for that. dont use me as your last resort friend for company, i dont do that to you.

you know one other thing, like when someone impt to you asks you out, you're like okay. you make time for the person, and you reserve one day for him/her and stick to it. and when other ppl ask you out on the same day, you TELL THEM NO because you have other obligations, yeah. it annoys me to no end when you ask someone out and the person says, oh i dont know, i might hv smth on that day. and then u suggest another day and the same thing is said, with "i tell you again another day okay!" added (which usu nvr comes back btw). that's okay, but my point is why cant you just say YES and tell your other frens NO? am i that insignificant in comparison to everyone else? its like you're incapable of saying no to all your other frens except me. i wanna know why. do u take me for granted so much that you think i'll always be around, at your beck and call whenever, for whatever? i truly think thats the reason. and i detest being taken for granted. i hate hate hate it. if u think i'll always be around and thats why you can say no to me instead of ur other frens, then going by the same theory, you dont say no to them because they may not stick around? that is twisted.

i am so exhausted.

if i am so unimportant to you ppl, i dont see why i shdnt treat each of you the same way i am treated.

i never hated myself more than i did now. seems all i did in my sixteen years werent enuf, i am still a worthless piece of rubbish to ppl, and i've accomplished nothing in my life. im not as impt to anyone as they are to me, and that means i've not made any real special friendships.i am merely an acquaintance.  turns out i am really just a waste of space after all.

and actually i think i've pretty much suspected myslf to be as such, for i now see all my attempts at making plans and organizing things as efforts to make myslf valuable in the eyes of others. i am so sickeningly insecure. and perhaps my plan worked, for thats all i seem to be good for, but then after that i seem to hv no other value, no other substance. i am worthless.

dont try to tell me otherwise, cause all the ways you ppl treat me just exemplifies my worth, i meant lack of. oops.

so please just leave me alone. i dont want you faking your niceties to me no more. just tell it to me straight. "grace, you are nothing to me"

McGrace upsized

heya peeps how're you doing?

i've been locking myslf indoors and ordering alot of mac. and the strangest thing happened ytd. after i placed my order (of which i am not abt to reveal as it may just shock you into staring pointedly at my stomach the nxt time you see me) i heard the girl say "thank you, enjoy your meal" which is normal right but then i thought i heard her add "take care of your skin!".

LOLLLLL.

it might just be me but i swear i heard that. and anw what else does it sound like anw? ok so i ordered mcwings so maybe she said smth like "take care of the skin!" meaning the chicken skin but it still doesnt make sense so yeah. what a strange encounter.

i have a double cheeseburger hidden in my house. and last night i had a mcflurry at 1am. ok i need to stop announcing my piggy-ness.

oh speaking of food, i really hope that KOREAN FOOD wont be postponed again nxt week. we've alr changed it twice! AND both times cos of the guys. jeez, i thought girls were the troublesome ones. lol.

am thinking of pinking my toenails! and when i say pinking, i mean PINKing. hot pink. very hawt pink. ooh yeah babehh its time to break out my hot pink fetish once again.

ooh movie with bets and qh tmr, so exciting. me needs a job and stupid qh has two interviews tmr b4 she meets us. am jeaaaaalous. argh, me needs to get a grip and put on my responsible, working young adult face.

lalala.

hey.

dont i like still owe prom pics? hahah its been 10days since grad ball and i still havent posted pics.

i wanna wear my slutty shoes. however i dont think wearing them whilst job hunting exactly portrays the right image. ohwell.

i LOVE Mulan. it is so one of my fave movies ever ever ever. sigh. Disney classic indeed. and Shang is so hot. lol okay moving on.

i hv nth else to say. buhbye!

youtube-ing

hello! i've been youtube-ing all night and omg i need to be up in 2hrs omgggggg

hahhahahahh.

i love Skip Beat! so glad we're one of the first to be watching, but it means i cant find it on youtube!!!! i think even now in japan they also havent watch the ending :( who ask them to air only in october. yes, this yr! cool right so recent :D

i swear it reminds me of all the romance novels lol but its super funny though of cos, predictable. 

okay im bushed, thou i dunno why seeing as i only woke up at like 4. and omg i need to wake up uber early, byebyebyebyebye!

:)))

lost in transaction

heyhey i got up at three thirty and reached Ju's hse at four ten :)

in case you wondered, yes we live uber near.

aiyah so weird my life feels so float-ey and drift-ish.

anyway

had gone to help Ju do her makeup for her prom night which is like nownownow. she has so little things! and she almost look like white-faced white-y cause her foundation was TWO SHADES LIGHTER THAN HER SKIN TONE. ahahhahah.

GRACE TO THE RESCUE.

i am supergirl.

lucky i brought my foundation. hahah. and lucky it matched. lucky lucky.

love her blue. think i almost screwed up her face. i hope she looks okay. whoever sees her give me feedback! i know im rusty but i dont think it was that bad :) she looks good kay. hah.

and so coincidentally she bought the tube dress i tried on at central w kanika and misato! what made me look pregnant makes her look like shes got miles of legs.

UNFAIRNESS.

and everybody wants to see the stilettos i wore to prom, lol. is it that hard to believe i was tall that night?!?? Hahahah.

cant believe grad ball was so long ago alr.... i miss the feeling of having a purpose in life! has it really been four days since? is it really over?

WE SHD ALL HV A BESTIE PROM PARTY OMG.

kay need to think of a plan.

damn i am such a good party planner.

we need cry-ey music! the mushy mushy type tht makes us all weepy and happy :D

and i want a mani pedi!!!!! :((((

am the only one i know tht didnt get one. damn sad.

WHO WANTS TO COME STAY OVER. im so tired of being alone at home!

oh mighty heavens, hear thy plea!

make my haven a place for thee!

hmm im not sure that says what i want it to say.

OH ANYHOO

FRIENDS, COME STAY OVER.

thanky yooo.

Grace the round character

i am a round character! are you round or flat?

AHAH i love literature.

im terribly awake. i stayed up the entire night yesterday, doing God knows what, and fell asleep at 9. am, not pm. and i wasnt even all that sleepy.

think i have too much energy not put to good use.

my mum will scream at me to pack my room, and Yiyin wld agree.

LOL.

oh and in my previous post! i realised i did wanna change smth bout me at prom, the way my lashes were curled! but lets not get finicky. finicky. what a cute word.

wow time flies when you blog. or read. i was reading a book last night - or at least i started round four thirty, and the sky got light real fast. methinks sleep is a waste of time. but post Os, i have time to waste. been staying home mostly, after monday aka prom night.

doodledoodoo.

i feel happy. must be all the chocolatey stuff i consumed earlier while watching that anime. happy does not come easy to me when i dont do anth and positively nth exciting happens, so its actually rather surprising. in a good way, of course.

hunger.

me is hungry.

shall resist.

but somehow when u're hungry, eating seems nice. of cos, eating is always nice. and anw post prom, eating is so okay. but not when you have no money, like me in my current state.

you know, im having loads of small revelations these days. its cool.

i said im happy now, but i wasnt, really wasnt, just 24hrs ago. i honestly dont know what i did to bring about this lighter mood, but im glad for it. and i want Kanika to feel better, i dont like it when im happy and my frens round me are not.

i was soooo ecstatic two nights ago, for unknown reasons (well, unknown to you readers) and felt bad being so delighted when meifeng herself had not felt so peachy. peachy. how cute :D

mood swings plague girls every so often, and FYI we're not having the monthlies every time we get hit by the mood swings. not easy to be a girl. you males have it easy, man.

yay Christmas is round the corner. i love Christmas, who doesnt? all the delightful songs and heartwarming movies. i really love Christmas. i have a feeling that this year's will be great. better than ever :)

hope there's a family party. i really miss all the family parties we'd had when all my cousins were small. soo heartwarming. ohwell we're all big kids now.

Christmas reminds me of angels, and it kinda makes my heart swell with happiness. no idea why, but it just does. i wld so love to have a snowy Christmas someday, but right now i cant bear to be apart from all my friends. everyone's generally happy round that time of the year, and you see so many more smiles on the street.

and there's just smth bout finding the perfect gift for someone you love. i know i said there is no perfection, but when you're all filled with christmas-y happiness you get that feeling that there is. LOL am i making sense?

i've alr found and given kanika her christmas present! she wore it to prom. a ring! a zebra print ring. so her. am gonna show it to ya soon.

am i growing up? i am suddenly imagining myself married with a family and using a family photo on a christmas card. naw, its just the holiday season movies playing in my head.

gosh, im so happy, its really quite ridiculous.

i hope Beatty Sec's prom goes well tmr! many of my frens in there. and my cousin too! yay. feel like going round hugging everybody, best stay away from me, its crazy. hahah.

oh and, i wanna thank Ian for listening to me just now. Ian Tan Ru Jun, omg i still rmb ur full name! thanks for wanting to hear my story, it was really fun telling  it. i get such a thrill when i find the right words.

am looking forward to saturday's korean food with justin misato and kanika. oh and matthew, thou i dont know him well. havent seen justin in a while! time for a Bestie outing you guys!

so cai and qiulin are outta town. cai is in korea, LOL, and i dunno where linlin is. and kenneth is gg away too.... boohoo we are all on different time zones.

Hugh Jackson is People mag's new sexiest man alive! I APPROVE.

come on now, you know who that is. wolverine dude, rmb? and apparently he is very, very hot in Australia. i mean the movie, not the country. althou perhaps he is. i really dont know. Hugh Jackson is British and comes with a v sexy accent. damn, i do like older men dont i. he's like, what, 42? lol im guessing. misato says i like hot anth. i just rmb-ed. lol. not true, man. hot is subjective anyway.

you know whats scary? inquisitive relatives. they bug you bout your life, questioning everything from your grades to who u're dating. i still rmb how my relative asked me if i had a boyfriend then told me not to get one and concentrate on O levels first. now that they're over, i hope they wont bug me about boyfriends. although with the current dynamics in my extended family they probably will be. i can just hear them.

"yu lin, you mei you nan peng you?" (translates to grace, do u hv a bf?)

this question in chinese and cantonese. not english, cos my cousins know better than to ask. if they ask, that means i get to ask, and i know they like to keep their things private, like i do. our families tend to share all the stories. freakish.

im the only girl amongst my cousins on my mum's side in s'pore now! omg, not good. Amy and Jasmine are in Shanghai.... i hope they grill someone else. maybe Daniel :D

i realise this post isnt bout anth in general, but bout everything in general. but hey, its fun.

i wonder who's awake. probably no one i know. oh well. i love the peace.

am very upset that the silver coating has peeled off the letter 'E' on my hp mini. what to do!

okay. i am gonna pick up a new skill, or more, in this long break. i want to paint someone's room! yiyin and qianhui, arent we supposed to paint your room?

hey, would you rather be fat and happy or slim and unhappy? i think i'd pick the latter, though you can lose weight. okay actually the former is good too. hmm bad question.

would you rather live in the present time or in the 1800s? or 1900s, it doesnt matter when, just past or present. i'd pick past. especially since im a girl, life would have been easier. i know women's rights might not have been established yet, and we might be subjected to take whatever men threw at us, but that can happen nowadays too actually. if i lived in the past, i wldnt have to.... i dont know, i supposed its just the feeling of wanting what you cant have.

unknowingly i have blogged about a whole lotta stuff. cool huh.

am in the mood for an intelligent and illuminating conversation. or a really good book.

yeah im a bookworm. love books.

do buy me book vouchers if you have no idea what to get me! books these days are so expensive i cant bear to buy any.

think i'll go now, if i say too much there'll be no more left to know bout me anymore :)

The Dress

you know how ppl think Os are the end of everything and after that there's no longer need to stress?

POOH.

prom prep puts more pressure on ppl than Os! i mean, if u cant find a dress, YOU CANT FIND A DRESS, and tht's exactly what happened to me! you can close your mouth now, i know you think i probably found everything two mths b4 prom but truth be told.....i didnt.

so what did i do?

well aside from having multiple prom disaster nightmares, nothing much til after end of Os. seriously. and my nightmares? they almost came true. i actually felt like i was living them for a bit, and it scared the hell outta me.

they all go pretty much the same; im all excited bout grad ball and talking bout all the stuff i was gonna do and planning all the prom prep, that i didnt notice the time passing and suddenly the day was upon me and i hadnt actually DONE anth.

i end up late and in an old dress i had lying around cos i hadnt bought anth. in one nightmare, i was actually wearing the wrong shoes.

freaky.

i began dress searching four days before end of Os but in the back of my mind i knew i had a last resort dress in my closet. the nxt day however, i found it looked not too hot on me so i effectively was in the race for the perfect dress.

misato had the dress.

leaving me pris and kanika.

then kanika found one on monday night, 10 nov.

and pris bought one not long after.

gasp.

yiyin had hers long ago.

meifeng found one.

as did kailing.

i

was

the

last

one.

shopping every single day, i must hv found smth right? yep. except i lost it. it was a last pc and it got sent back to the supplier the morning i went back for it. sigh. and it was saturday by then. prom was 2 days away and i was dressless! it was without a doubt, an emergency.

meifeng was great though, she went out w me on sunday. the day before prom. to find me a dress. i cant begin to describe how stressed i was. we set out early at 11am.

ironically,we found it in the first store we went into, a store i had insisted we skip every other time we had gone shopping. topshop.

hahah. talk bout irony.

i was kinda desperate by then (COME ON, DAY BEFORE PROM.) so even the hefty price tag didnt deter me much. surely $143 was okay right? 

besides, it had all the makings of a 'me' dress. a different cut, a different look, the shiny material. not to mention it wld so rock w sex and the city shoes.

if only i had decided on the look i wanted earlier. shopping wld hv been so much easier.

before, i wanted jewel tone sleek. for such a hot trend, it was amazingly difficult to find. or fabulously expensive. i saw one 300 over dollar one in robinsons that fit the bill, w the only prob its length and of cos, price.

and i had always been really into the fitted waist, so a tie-back seemed a natural choice. that is, til i realised just bout evrybody i knew, EVERYBODY, was wearing a tie-back dress.

being the fussy me who just had to look different just cause i could, i didnt wanna buy anth like that. and admit it, tubes halters spaghetti straps- common beyond common.

i dont know why i didnt wanna look generic so badly, but i just didnt.

all looked bleak til the day before prom when i found the strappy black number in topshop.

i'd finally settled on smth tht bordered on rock chic. think smth on the line between casual and formal. and i know i was very adverse to it previously, but i'd decided black was the way to go.

yay me.

now, i considered some other choices. like the black banded bottom dress in warehouse with the strappy back. (SO costly. and banded bottom. omg.) and the gorgeous black dress in ms selfridge with the sequined waist. their prices were all abt $40 of each other, the topshop one in the middle. with meifeng's help, i finally decided on that. it wasnt perfect, but it was as near as i could get. a dress in the commonest colour with a most uncommon cut. i adore the beaded straps!

okay i admit i had misgivings. after all, it was rather low cut, and the back was... unusual.

and when i put it on coupled with the hot beyond hot stilettos i found later, i wondered if i looked like a slut.

Grace is many things, but she is no slut. i was going for the rock chic sex and the city stilettos look, but did i pass that and hit slutty?

PLEASE SAY NO :(

after all it wasnt figure hugging and it stayed in place.

and when i put the whole ensemble tgt, complete with chunky bangles, chunky ring and chunky heels, i was happy.

so i didnt care.

and i realised smth i had nvr quite been able to grasp before, the way too self conscious me. as long as u're happy, nothing else really matters.

so you see, there really is no perfect dress. if you think you look good, and you feel good, you're happy. and that's The Dress.

everything comes with imperfections, and the flaws are really what makes something truly special. so maybe this whole post was a waste of time, but im happy, and i learned smth.

not just when it comes to dress hunting, or even shopping in general, but life.

there is no perfection. there is no perfect look, no perfect place, no perfect man. there is only love and acceptance.  embracing everything about the thing or the one you love, and not wanting to change anything about it. only then can you be truly happy.

all along i'd wanted the perfect dress to make the prom look perfect, but it isnt the dress that makes somebody, is it? that night, i didnt want to change anything on me. i didnt want my arms to be toner, i didnt want myself to be skinnier and i didnt want myself to be anyone else, but me. that's never happened before. the only thing i wanted that night? some oil blotters.

hahahahahha.

and okay, im sure my double chin could hv been less obvious, but whatever! i was happy :)

im not sure how shopping for a prom dress taught me this, but it did, somehow.

LOL i  never meant for this post to be that deep, it really just started out as a frivolous post, but ohwell.

and this concludes this post.

pee oh ass tee

post school post prom post everything.

gosh.

life is annoying. im so ready to throw myself into someone else's life for a bit, mine just kinda blows right now. so glad i got some books from the library today.

at least my room isnt as terrible to be in as compared to last night, i was all too aware i was alone. having had a fren stay over on monday night made me realise all over again how i hated being an only child.

hmm actually i think tonight isnt all tht great either. i feel all lost and space-y. you know, all my life has no purpose and stuff.

sigh sigh sigh.

you know how you really care bout smth then that thing is taken away and you're so upset and then after a long time you finally kinda move on (but u nvr really fully let it go cos u cared so much) but then smth happens tht reminds u all over again of how u felt bout tht thing and you rmb how much u cared and you hurt all over again cept its almost worse this time cos it feels like u're being hurt a second time?

yeah well, freaking get over yourself. ugh. life goes on.

okay! tmr i am gonna go get me some oeros and oh wait not gg out tmr. hmmmmm.

shiver me timbles i wanna watch movies.

am so hungry. and this is a boring post, damn it.

lol okay i shall post again on a day where my brain is actually fully functional.

oh and i forgot, Os are over. O.V.E.R.

goodbye anderson. goodbye old life.

goodbye! :)